Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 10 of 10 FirstFirst ... 78910
Results 91 to 96 of 96

Thread: Is reconciliation possible in this scenario?

  1. #91
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    3,780
    Gender
    Male
    What's to bring up? I'm asking this sincerely. Or, really, what do you get or hope to gain by bringing it up? Validation that you are "right"?

    People will say all sorts of thingsólike, for instance, that they "hate" a bar scene. It means nothing. What we do is who we are, be it going to a bar or obsessing about an IG story of someone going to a bar. In fact, most of the time when you hear someone expressing "hate" about somethingóbar scenes, exes, friends, cities, jobsówhat they're expressing is something they're deeply frustrated with in themselves, often an attachment to something unresolved.

    Instead of focusing on lofty concepts like "hypocrisy," which make every action of hers (liking a post, going to a bar, an elliptical comment about a shirt you wear) some kind of verdict on you leveled by the most complex woman on the planet, I'd suggest focusing instead on "immaturity." That's all this is, really, on both sides. It's a young person who is all over the map in pretty "basic" ways, and a much older person trying to use that map as a guide for finding himself.

    To beat the drum again: I'd challenge yourself to explore what is behind that instinct, in you, as that is where you'll find peace and comfort, not in a "like" or a "confrontation" about why she had a beer at the bar she said she "hates."

    Imagine if I continually voiced frustration at Big Macs for refusing to make me thin and ripped, no matter how many I ate. They are Big Macs, you'd tell me, not kale salads, no matter how hard I break my brain to tell a different story. The breaking of the brain, you'd tell me, is a refusal to admit that I have a problem with Big Macs. Until I acknowledge that problem the odds of me getting thin and ripped are slim.

  2. #92
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    14,143
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by TimeToGrowUp
    Sorry having a moment. I've gone completely NC for the last two weeks and was doing fairly well just slowly accepting this whole charade is probably over.

    Sure enough, yesterday she liked a photo I had posted from an event I went to the night before. It's the first time she's liked anything of mine since we stopped dating two months ago. But she also commented about something I was wearing in a way where I couldn't tell if it was a compliment or a wisecrack. Sure enough at night there was she posting videos of her out in the bar scene of my city - the same one she lectured me about prior to the no contact. That scene was a real point of contention for her whenever she'd see me out having fun in my social media videos. She told me she hated everything about it and everyone in it. That she just wants more out of life and it's part of the reason why we want different things.

    The hypocrisy really irks me, especially given how strong her prior sentiments were. I'm doing everything I can to squash the feeling I have to bring it up.
    Why don't you just block and delete her and then delete yourself from social media for a time being. What is the point of post what you did on a night out? What satisfaction/validation do you get from broadcasting your whereabouts/activities?

  3. #93
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    12,727
    Is it possible...you posted that deliberately hoping for a reaction from her now that she "re-followed" you?

  4. #94
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    883
    Gender
    Male
    BLOCK AND DELETE X1000. End this once and for all.

  5.  

  6. #95
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    14,143
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by ninjabib
    BLOCK AND DELETE X1000. End this once and for all.
    Amen to that!

  7. #96
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Age
    40
    Posts
    526
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Is it possible...you posted that deliberately hoping for a reaction from her now that she "re-followed" you?
    Posting a nice picture of me and my friend on my IG because of her? Not a chance.

    At any rate - It's now three weeks of no contact. But I noticed she's back in the routine again where she's coming over here to talk to her sister (who sits across from me at work). It was like this when things first ended. That aspect of it makes NC really hard. Just the mere sight of her invokes feelings in me still.

Page 10 of 10 FirstFirst ... 78910

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •