Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: How do I cut off girlfriend that wonít accept breakup

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Posts
    28

    How do I cut off girlfriend that wonít accept breakup

    So Iíve been dating my gf for a little under a year now. For the past few months I have been losing feelings. She is a high school senior and Iím a college freshman. After I left for college her attention and desire for me comes in waves. Sheíll go the whole day without texting and then wants to FaceTime for an entire day, then gets angry when I tell her I canít because of how much homework I have. As I said though, Iíve sort of been losing feelings for her, we fight a lot and now that we canít be together to go on dates/ be together, I feel like we actually have nothing in common. Last night we got into a fight over something dumb and long story short Iím discussing with her that maybe we shouldnít be together anymore. She wonít accept it though, she keeps saying sheíll change and itíll be different but I feel like it wonít be. I go home for the weekend on Thursday and I donít know what to do. I feel like I canít go on with this relationship because she says she change but I think my feelings are gone for her already. What should I do? And Iím pretty sure she wants to see me this weekend how do I go about handling that?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Posts
    2,025
    See her to break up with her, do quickly, don't be a tool.

    Then stop responding to social media contacts with her.

    Nobody is bad here. It is just a different life stage for the two of you.

    Focus on your school work

  3. #3
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Surrey BC, Canada
    Posts
    1,288
    Gender
    Female
    You should tell her firmly that you don't have feelings for her anymore, and this is something you really want, and she needs to accept this. Then go no contact, block/delete her on everything, and don't answer the door. Have your parents or roommate tell her you have gone out or you are not home. Avoid her at all costs.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    7,771
    As jim says, see her and break up with her face-to-face.

    It's one of those occasions where you need to be 'cruel to be kind', and make it clear that you don't think you're right for each other - and wish her well. Then block her and go NC.

    It takes work to maintain relationships like this even when you're both getting on pretty well, and it sounds as though you've outgrown her. You're both really young and it's just one of those things which happens.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    central Florida
    Posts
    3,643
    Gender
    Female
    After that amount of time together, you owe it to her to break up in person. It takes two, and you're in different stages of life and you're ready to move on. Just be honest that changes won't make any difference at this point. If she can't accept this and continues to try to communicate, you will have to block her. Breakups are common for many at this age. She'll eventually move on.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Wilds of Texas
    Posts
    9,984
    Gender
    Female
    If you want to break up, then break up. Don't make it a convoluted discussion, just do it and make it clean and clear and follow up with appropriate actions.

    Tell her in a polite straightforward manner that your relationship has run its course, you are both in different places in life and you no longer have the same feelings for her. It's not going to work out between you and it's completely over. Yes, be that blunt and clear. Sugar coating things may feel good, but in the end it just hurts people more because it confuses things and leaves your ex hoping that you'l come around if only she does this or time or fix that or ......

    Also, do not offer to stay friends. Separate out anything that's between you. Give back any things of hers you might have when you get home. Keep it completely clean. It will actually help her move on and heal faster than lingering around hoping for you to change your mind. Also, if you are active on social media, remove her. If you want to be nice, just let her know that you don't feel it's healthy or appropriate to continue to follow each other when you are no longer in a relationship.

    When you are that clean and clear with your words and actions, you'll find that your break ups are actually easier and involve less drama as you both preserve some dignity with each other.

  8. #7
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    649
    Gender
    Male
    Yes, do it sooner rathert than later. Be polite, respectful but FIRM. Do not give her false hope that "one day in 6 months or more etc" none of that. Wish her the best and block her on all media etc etc

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    35,362
    Gender
    Male
    Stop stringing her along. Be honest and set her free.
    Originally Posted by Nman4141
    For the past few months I have been losing feelings. She is a high school senior and Iím a college freshman.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    British Columbia, Canada
    Posts
    2,615
    Gender
    Female
    It sounds like you're frustrated and upset. Take a time out and think about it clearly. Break up with her if you're certain about it and don't go back on any decisions you make. Off/on relationships are not a good idea.

    It seems both of you have outgrown each other and you're impatient that she's still in highschool or behaving like a highschooler. She doesn't seem to understand your workload and you're both on different pages. It's not uncommon at this stage of your lives. Take it easy and be fair to each other.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    10,324
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Nman4141
    Iím discussing with her that maybe we shouldnít be together anymore.
    This seems both vague and negotiable and as you found out, she disputed it with you.

    In a perfect world two people mutually agree on an amicable break, but that's not what happens most of the time.

    I suppose it was a good to take that first step and see where she stands on the issue. But seeing that she is on the opposite side of this, you get to make this brave decision for yourself and act on it.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •