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Thread: Thoughts on wishing an ex Happy Birthday?

  1. #1
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    Thoughts on wishing an ex Happy Birthday?

    Yay or nay? I'm over the guy so it's not an attempt to get a response. I was the one that cut them off ages ago. He meant a lot to me for a long time and helped a great deal in making me who I am today, so I thought since he's turning 30, why not?

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    No. If it was ages ago that you cut him off, it would seem a bit weird to be suddenly in contact now.

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    I don't want to be in contact, I just wanted to wish him happy birthday. I celebrated his birthday for 4 year together and even though he's a part of my past, I appreciate him.

    I cut him off around a year ago btw.

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    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    My take on it is less yay or nay than: why? If you can answer that question easily, in a way that doesn't feel like self-deception, there's no harm in saying happy birthday, or not.

    The other thing I think about is: How would a person I'm dating feel if I was wishing an ex a happy birthday? I ask that whether I'm dating someone or not, since if I'm not (but interested in dating someone) the question becomes: Does wishing an ex happy birthday improve my chances of a relationship or not?

    I'm friendly with two exes, very close with one, to the point where I don't even think of her as "an ex." We broke up 15 years ago, are simply friendsólike, I wish her partner happy birthday, so of course I wish her one. She's part of my life. As for "using" a birthday to break a silence of years and "check in"óno, I don't do that. Have in the pastómy 20sóbut I guess at some point I just stopped.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Honeycomb8
    I don't want to be in contact, I just wanted to wish him happy birthday.
    These two sentiments are at diametric odds with each other. Just realize that. They can't coexist in one sentence, logically, since wishing someone happy birthday is being in contact with someone.

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    I'm not using this to break contact, I just wanna wish him a happy birthday because I went through a lot with him and hope he's well. That's basically what it is, nothing more nothing less.

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    I still have him blocked so wouldn't even get a reply either way.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What if he doesn't respond or you find that you are blocked?
    Originally Posted by Honeycomb8
    I'm not using this to break contact, I just wanna wish him a happy birthday because I went through a lot with him and hope he's well. That's basically what it is, nothing more nothing less.

  10. #9
    Gold Member LikeWater's Avatar
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    In my experience this has never been fruitful at all. You'll send it, you'll get no reply, and then you'll be left wondering if he saw it or not, if he just ignored it, or in the other case what's the best response you're going to receive? "Thanks"? And the worst response could be a whole other can of worms.

    At the end of the day, you want to wish him a happy birthday for selfish reasons, whether you can admit it or not.

    Let him enjoy his day without any potential drama your words might cause, even if you feel you have the best of intentions and no expectations.

    Edit: You have him blocked and you want to send these well wishes. What is he supposed to get from this? Most likely nothing more than a reminder he didn't want.
    Last edited by LikeWater; 10-15-2019 at 11:41 AM.

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    It's email lol I don't want him to respond. He messaged me a lot towards the end and I didn't reply any of his numerous attempts to contact me. This isn't my way of getting his attention, since it's always been the other way around.

    He's still blocked so I don't want a reply.

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