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Thread: Thoughts on wishing an ex Happy Birthday?

  1. #11
    Gold Member LikeWater's Avatar
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    The answer is no, don't send it.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by Honeycomb8
    I don't want to be in contact, I just wanted to wish him happy birthday.
    Wishing him happy birthday is contact. It would be weird if it came out of the blue like that.

    Judging by the way you're dismissing the thoughts that you've apparently asked for, it looks as though you're really looking for affirmation that it would be OK to do so. Despite making it so that he can't actually respond, acknowledge or contact you in any form.

    Sorry, but it still seems weird.

  3. #13
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    I wouldn't bother sending greetings.

    You broke up with him, and although he's probably over it by now, you reaching out could result in opening up old wounds, or maybe, getting his hopes up.

    Even if you have good intentions, looking at it from his perspective, it's best that you don't reach out. I'd leave him be.

  4. #14
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    Let me put it this way, how would you feel if an ex that broke your heart reached out to you, only to wish you happy birthday?

    I'm guessing you'd prefer NOT to hear from them.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Look, the only reason to wish him happy birthday is a simple one: because you want contact.

    No problem with that, but it has to be owned. Reaching out to someone who not long ago reached out to you repeatedly, and doing so while they are still blocked from you—well, c'mon: that is kind of cruel.

    Imagine he replies "Thanks—it's been a nice day! How's life on your end?" He gets no response, because that goes back into the void you seemed to have closed. Not nice. His nice day just got weird. Meanwhile, you get the pleasure of being a nice person who wished him happy birthday, while still getting full control over things.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Look, the only reason to wish him happy birthday is a simple one: because you want contact.

    No problem with that, but it has to be owned. Reaching out to someone who not long ago reached out to you repeatedly, and doing so while they are still blocked from you—well, c'mon: that is kind of cruel.

    Imagine he replies "Thanks—it's been a nice day! How's life on your end?" He gets no response, because that goes back into the void you seemed to have closed. Not nice. His nice day just got weird. Meanwhile, you get the pleasure of being a nice person who wished him happy birthday, while still getting full control over things.
    Spot on, bluecastle. Well said.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Always a nay and a double nay when you are talking about someone from so long ago that you needed to block.

    Stay blocked, stay no contact. You wishing him a happy b-day in this case would be completely weird behavior and seen as such. Not a flattering look for you.

    Yeah, agree with whoever asked, "why?" - there is nothing nice about this and it's completely inappropriate, not to mention just weird af.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    Always a nay and a double nay when you are talking about someone from so long ago that you needed to block.

    Stay blocked, stay no contact. You wishing him a happy b-day in this case would be completely weird behavior and seen as such. Not a flattering look for you.

    Yeah, agree with whoever asked, "why?" - there is nothing nice about this and it's completely inappropriate, not to mention just weird af.
    I agree with this too.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Honeycomb8
    I still have him blocked so wouldn't even get a reply either way.
    I wasn't sure what my answer would be, until I got to this^^
    If you are still in place where a response wouldn't be welcomed, then I'd say no.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Nah. Things are weird enough as they are. You've blocked him. What's the point of dropping a hbd bomb? It's the equivalent of remote detonation and a bit passive aggressive. Let it go, I think. And delete any reminders for his birthday going forward.

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