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Thread: Has my gf lost interest over me or am I just being paranoid?

  1. #1
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    Has my gf lost interest over me or am I just being paranoid?

    I've been with my gf for about a two years now. Things were going great but then I began to notice she's been cutting back on texting, giving me one word replies, keeping our relationship a secret to her family and being cold as hell. I've seen her be extremely energetic to other guys, joking with them, asking about how their life is going and carrying conversations while she's quiet and doesn't ask me much. I figured she's been stressed lately because her job is laying off her branch of her department. She recently had an interview and got a new job but hasn't told me much about it and never told me about any interviews until the day of. Long story short, she got it and I figured things would be better, but it's still the same.

    We recently went to a wedding together. She seemed happy and we took pictures together smiling/kissing and all. We went to an after party and she was flirting with another guy while I was by myself on the other side. She paid no attention to me until we went home.

    She texted me saying she wanted to go have dinner. I asked if she can pick me up and she said no since I don't have a car and I just came home from a 12 hour shift standing. Then all of a sudden she texts immediately and changes her mind and I ask why. She said nothing. I asked her if she's mad or did i do something wrong. But she ignored me which left me thinking that if I did something wrong.

    I recently got hurt at work and now receiving physical therapy. I told her about what happened and she seemed to have forgotten or not care about it.

    I'd like to talk to her about it by she's very passive aggressive. Whenever we have an argument, she stays quiet and doesn't say anything. I can't resolve anything with her and just tend to ignore each other for a day or two and continue like nothing every happened. Am I being too paranoid?

  2. #2
    Bronze Member MirrorKnight's Avatar
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    No you are not paranoid, with everything you described, she is not invested in your relationship anymore and is probably just not satisfied with you.

    I would prepare for the inevitable breakup at this point. If she does not care about you anymore, it is already beyond saving. Trying to cling on, asking her what is wrong, etc... will just come across desperate.

    Focus on improving yourself, career-wise, going to the gym etc and get ready to move on.

  3. #3
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    No, you're not being paranoid.

    It very much sounds like she is steadily losing interest in the relationship. You two need to talk, in person. You can't continue on indefinitely like this. I would simply ask her when she's free to meet; don't mention that you plan to discuss the relationship, as she will likely get her back up and the conversation won't happen. Wait until you are together and explain that you have noticed she seems more distracted and less interested, and ask her to share what's on her mind regarding the future of your relationship.

    Brace yourself for hearing what you don't want to hear, though. Try not to get defensive or argumentative; listen to what she has to say. It might not be what you were hoping for, but you don't want to create an argument in which nothing gets resolved or you two don't really get to the heart of the matter.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately it sounds like you're incompatible. She is more independent, energetic and outgoing than you and this causes you stress and insecurity. It seems you're down a lot and and complain quite often.

    So there is a two-pronged approach to this. End things with her because she's losing interest and you can't get along. Get some therapy to shore up your self confidence, perhaps get another job, a car and a good physical exam to rule out medical causes of this persistent ennui..
    Originally Posted by Ayes
    My girlfriend and I have been going out for about a year and a half. Lately she has been giving me cold shoulder. She takes a while to respond to my texts or if she does, itís just a word or two response, she goes out with her friends but when I ask if she wants go out she says shes fasting, dieting, or no.

    I feel like she doesnít respect me anymore and itís making me insecure about myself and questioning if Iím making things worse.
    We recently went to a wedding together. I asked if she can pick me up and she said no since I don't have a car
    I recently got hurt at work and now receiving physical therapy. I told her about what happened and she seemed to have forgotten or not care about it.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Your side of the story is just one side of the story. What she thinks of you is a different matter and from the looks of things and your previous post/thread, this relationship has been waning or a month or more. She's either not interested in you, thinks you're pushy, you're both not compatible and she's avoiding you. She may not be passive aggressive. She may really dislike your reactions in situations and doesn't want a confrontation (doesn't think you can be trusted). Either way, you're not getting along. If you get the feeling this isn't for you, break it off and learn from any mistakes.

  7. #6
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    The relationship is done.
    I wouldn't have tolerated my bf flirting in front of me and in combination with everything else...she's gonna break up with u.

    Might as well beat her to the punch.

  8. #7
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    You're not paranoid at all! It doesn't sound like this is headed anywhere fantastic.. I would suggest maybe taking a break from the relationship for a while and see how things go and how you feel. A bit of space might be a good thing for both of you.

  9. #8
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    No, you are definitely not paranoid. I felt terrible reading about how ill-mannered she is to you.

    I may sound harsh but I wouldn't reach out to her anymore. She's made it perfectly clear that she's no longer interested in the relationship (sorry). That said, she should not treat you in such a shi**y and disrespectful way, regardless. Flirting in front of you??? Really? Come on, OP, don't allow her to be so thoughtless and rude towards you. That's not right and just plain hurtful. You don't need that cr*p. Get your self-respect back, and run the other way. She's not worth your time, IMHO. Think about it.

  10. 10-14-2019, 10:47 PM

  11. 10-14-2019, 11:38 PM


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