I'm going to try and tell this as mutually as possible. I have been with my girlfriend for just over 5 years, we are renting, no child no major commitments, I am 31 and she is 30, we are both looking to buy a house and agree we both want kids.

From the beginning the relationship has been very up and down, at the beginning I wanted to spend every living minute with her to the point she told me I was quite obsessive. As the months/years went by we grew to know what we both wanted, my biggest problems were she had a tendency to be quite lazy, and we rarely had sex.... we are both completely faithful to one another, but sex happens once a month, and that's if we are lucky. This is mainly an issue for me and not her, she would be happy to go months without it as she doesn't really care about it.

Cutting a long story short in one of our latest arguments she accused me of being mentally abusive, controlling and manipulative, I was really upset by this and slept in the spare room. When I woke up she started the argument again and said I was mentally abusing her by sleeping in the spare room as I knew it would hurt her, well, I slept in there because I was deeply hurt by what she said and not to hurt her. She has since apologised for saying these things in the heat of the moment, but I think she still stands by what she said and i cant let it go. I asked her to elaborate more on what she means but the stuff she says that's controlling etc. I disagree with. To give one example: shes been feeling slightly down lately and hasn't got many friends, me, my friend from work and also her friend from work as we work together tried to set her and his Mrs on a little get together, they have met before and get on really well but when we tried to make this happen she said I was controlling her...... I was just trying to help. She did give more examples but I'm not even sure I'll get a response to this thread so I'm trying to keep it short and sweet.

I do love her, but I honestly feel she only loves the idea of what I offer, and not actually love me for who I am, meaning: she loves I am loyal, wants kids and a house, but she doesn't love the person that's offering them. Now she has said these words I genuinely dont know what to do, I dont want to leave her but then can I continue to be in a relationship with someone who I feel doesn't actually love me? Or ever wants to have sex with me?

I can say more things but I'll see if anyone has an interest or advice on what they've heard so far.

Thank you for taking the time to read this :)