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Thread: Boyfriends contact with ex

  1. #1
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    Boyfriends contact with ex

    Ive been seeing this guy for a few months and been 'official' for about 3 weeks.

    He broke up with his ex during the time we were getting to know eachother.
    They were together for a few years, engaged with 2 children.
    I dont think it was a bad break up, they werent fighting or anything, he just said he had fallen out of love with her.

    We became 'official' the day he first spent time with her taking the children out. They hadnt seen eachother in a couple of months as she had taken the children our of the country for a family emergency. When she came home he ended things with her and then they had been split for 2 weeks before the meeting.

    We work together and i spend a few nights a week at his. We dont go out a huge amount. But we spend quite abit of time together and we text alot when we are apart. He tells me he loves me quite often.

    Anyway.... he has spent the day with his ex a few times taking the children out to the playground and for lunch. They seem to get along really well still.

    They had a brief period of no contact. I think about 2 weeks, he broke it first by texting to ask how she and the children were and she replied a few days later.

    Since then she has text him daily. He always responds. Sometimes instantly, other times when he thinks i dont realise what hes doing. Theyve been saying good morning everyday and asking how eachother is. It only seems like small talk and he doesnt seem to initiate at all, just respond to her.

    Thats been going on for about a week. They have planned to spend next weekend together for one of the childrens birthdays, including taking them to his families house together.

    Hes been posting stories on snapchat from his memories, mostly old ones of the the children but his posts are all either from times when they were together or of himself with quotes expressing that hes not happy.

    He hasnt told her that he is with someone and he knows that she wants him back.

    Am i wrong for feeling insecure?

  2. #2
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    Why were you getting to know him when he had a gf back then? Messing with taken people is not cool.

    You can't possibly expect loyalty from someone that isn't loyal. And he jumped ship so you can't expect him to not have baggage. Duh it's pretty common sense.

  3. #3
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    She wasnt around and i didnt know to begin with that he was taken. When i found out he said that he felt things between them had been over for awhile but he didnt know how to tell her.

  4. #4
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    Originally Posted by Honeycomb8
    Why were you getting to know him when he had a gf back then? Messing with taken people is not cool.

    You can't possibly expect loyalty from someone that isn't loyal. And he jumped ship so you can't expect him to not have baggage. Duh it's pretty common sense.
    All of the above, yes.

    You're not wrong for feeling insecure, OP, but you are wrong for expecting any sort of real relationship from this man. It's not going to last between you.

    And you kept up with him anyway after finding out he wasn't actually single? Not cool. What goes around comes around, as you're now seeing.

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  6. #5
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    Are you saying im right to be insecure because of the contact he is having with his ex or because of how our relationship started?

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by Charlierose
    Are you saying im right to be insecure because of the contact he is having with his ex or because of how our relationship started?
    Both.

    This isn't a relationship that is going to last. I would end it now and save yourself the heartache.

  8. #7
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    You think they will get back together? Does it make a difference if he just responds to her and doesnt initiate contact with her?

  9. #8
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    Why would you get involved with someone directly out of a relationship? He needs at least a year to process things, plus there are kids. There is no way that he is over her.

    I do not think he loves you, and you have set yourself up for a lot of pain.

  10. #9
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    And, why were dating someone who was involved. That's terrible.

    It seems like most of your dates are in the house (sex buddy). Why aren't you going out? You can't have a relationship in your home. You have a lot to learn, like staying away from other women's men.

    This is going to bite you in the azz.

  11. #10
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    We dont go out much as we rarely have the same days off so when we have abit of time we go for a few drinks or maybe the cinema or something

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