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Thread: Boyfriends contact with ex

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by Charlierose
    I know what i think. But im interested in hearing opinions from people who are completely impartial and away from the whole situation. And why they think what they do
    Why don't you start by telling us what you think?

    We have already told you it's a bad idea to get involved with a man like this. He was not single, has not now been single long enough, and clearly isn't prepared to actually walk away from her and their kids. You're just someone who kept his bed warm.

    Your turn.

  2. #22
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    Obviously hes not going to walk away from his children. I would never expect him to. But i feel that he shouldnt be spending the day taking them out together like they do.

    Im starting to feel as though maybe where she wasnt around for awhile he felt his needs werent being met so looked elsewhere. Got caught up in the excitement of something new and different.

    The more contact he has with her the more his mood swings, so i think hes conflicted about whether he wants to go back to her or not. Perhaps he feels like he should for the children.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by Charlierose
    Im starting to feel as though maybe where she wasnt around for awhile he felt his needs werent being met so looked elsewhere. Got caught up in the excitement of something new and different.
    Gee, do ya think?!

    I don't mean to be rude, OP, but this is what you get for not cutting off a taken man.

  4. #24
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    So you think thats whats happened? And that now shes back hes torn between the new and exciting and going back to his family? Do you think then that he never actually stopped loving her, even if maybe he thought he did?

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Have you considered that men with kids in general and this man in particular are not a good match for you? Were you having an affair with him hoping he would leave? Where does he live now? Your relationship is very new. You have no real say in how often and when and where he sees his own children.

    The most important thing to take note of is that he wants to continue to be a family with his exgf and is trying to get back with her. Your role may be to keep him warm until then, and at some level you realize this.
    Originally Posted by Charlierose

    He broke up with his ex during the time we were getting to know eachother.

    We became 'official' the day he first spent time with her taking the children out.
    We work together and i spend a few nights a week at his.

    He hasnt told her that he is with someone

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Were you having an affair with him hoping he would leave? Where does he live now? Your relationship is very new. You have no real say in how often and when and where he sees his own children.

    The most important thing to take note of is that he wants to continue to be a family with his exgf and is trying to get back with her. Your role may be to keep him warm until then, and at some level you realize this.
    No once i found out that he wasnt single he told me that he was leaving her. That he had felt things were over for sometime.

    I no i have no say when it comes to the children but is it considered normal to be spending so much time with her whilst seeing them?

    And how is he trying to get back with her when he isnt initiating any contact and only replies to her messaging him with small talk?

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by Charlierose
    No once i found out that he wasnt single he told me that he was leaving her. That he had felt things were over for sometime.
    Unfortunately, you are very naive and gullible.

  9. #28
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    But he did leave her though?

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Where does he live now?
    He lives in the same place. He wasnt living with her. They were looking at places to move in together. She was/is living with her sister and he lives with an uncle in a small flat. I know they used to stay at his alot though as there is still alot of things in his bedroom including beds for the children

  11. #30
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    Charlierose, I am sorry to say this but I think he will return to his family. I think if you will stay, you are setting yourself for a heartache.
    Looks like they are reconnecting and before you know,he may become distant with you.
    I really hope I am wrong here but something tells me that this is not going to last unless you are willing to put up with a lot.

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