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Thread: His rebound from me was his rebound after his last relationship

  1. #11
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    OP i don't think theres anything else that needs saying except BULLET DODGED! Down the line you will see this as a lucky escape even though it doesn't feel like it right now. I hope you start to feel better in the next coming weeks.

  2. #12
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    Thank you for sharing more. I know this must have been painful too. You already begun to see that you weren't that happy in this marriage. I am sure there were good moments but 2 years it is still early and such comments about your body or expectations to go bankrupt it is beyond my comprehension.
    You really doged the bullet. You really did. I can't believe how quickly things went ugly. Although on my end, things also changed overnight.
    Please don't wish him bad. You are better than that. However I do understand that. Some men go into things and reflect later. He will process this when he will process this..it may be later. For now he is focusing on something else. Let him.
    If he would wanted you back now, you may actually giving him a chance. You may even feel relieved that he is back. I hope with more time, you will see even more clearly that this man was not a catch.
    Perhaps by the time he will reach out to you again, you may no longer have desire to reconcile.
    Porn on cam ? No, no, no
    Insults ? No...he didn't care to learn why you shut down emotionally. Instead, he chosen to go elsewhere.
    No,no, no....you can do better almost with any other man.
    Be strong Delicate ! This is truly a blessing for you. You will soon see that too. I know you are hurting now.
    I know it's unbearable at times.
    He is not a good man.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry this is happening. Unfortunately he may have been seeing her all along. Sadly she may be only one of many that you know of. Is he still living there? Immediately get to a doctor for STD testing including blood-borne diseases.

    At that time be very very honest with your doctor and ask for a referral to a therapist. Go alone. Do not tell him and do not go to marital therapy. He will put on an act, and you know that.

    Also immediately seek advice from an attorney. Ask him to leave and try to get the divorce as quickly as possible. The longer this lasts the more irreparable damage you will sustain mentally, physically and emotionally. This is not merely a "rebound' this in one of many sexual contacts.
    Originally Posted by Delicate1
    I am suddenly going through a painful divorce after being together for two years, married for one.

    he dated a woman as the "rebound" for 6 months. This was just before we met. I've come to learn that he has been seeing this person once again. We have only been separated for one month.

    He is a self-professed narcissist, and is also a sex addict (had been seeing a therapist).

  4. #14
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    I agree you dodged a bullet...and this gal he is seeing again will not be experiencing bliss for long. She will get to experience his unpredictability/instability like you did.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    The guy is a perpetual rebounder. He leaps from one woman to another and has never taken the time to stabilize solo. So regardless of how long this particular leap lasts, it's irrelevant--he's not relationship material. If you take him back again, you'll be living in an anxious state of waiting for the next shoe to drop before he leaves you again.

    Love doesn't heal people who won't invest in healing solo. Some people are best loved from far away.

    I'd make it my private goal to surprise everyone, including myself, with my resilience and ability to bounce back from this as a learning experience to create a fabulous future for myself. Unstable people make for unstable relationships. Skip them, grieve, heal and don't ever date people who are fresh out of breakups--they can 'tell' you that they aren't rebounding, but it's up to each of us to replace their lousy judgement with our own sense of self preservation and better judgement.

    Head high, there wasn't likely anything you could have done differently in the relationship to prevent this. Rebounders are a ticking time bomb. Know that going in, and don't go in.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    This is not about 'rebound relationships'. This is a sex addict who, as usual, is pretending to be "getting therapy" but is just on the down low, hiding it better.. Get to your doctor immediately for blood-borne and STD testing. Do Not Have Sex With Him.

    Do not talk to him about anything. Do not get mad, upset, etc. get him out of your life. Get to an attorney asap as well and ask your doctor for a referral to a therapist to help support you and navigate past this nightmare.
    Originally Posted by Delicate1
    He is a self-professed narcissist, and is also a sex addict (had been seeing a therapist).

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