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Thread: This hurts like hell, even though I know itís for the best

  1. #31
    Bronze Member bdwiii's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Did you get her permission to post that photo of her?

    I don't want to beat up on you when you're down, but you're revealing some pretty personal and incriminating stuff about her. Posting a photo without getting her permission is probably not a great idea.

    And of course you're in pain emotionally.

    I was very seriously ill a few years ago. I was hospitalized for almost two weeks. While I was in there the guy I had been in a relationship with moved another woman into his house. I was absolutely torn to shreds emotionally, even though this guy was no prize. Because I was physically unwell, it made it harder to deal with. When we ended for good (we had reconciled...terrible idea) I was healthier and therefore it didn't devastate me the way it had before.

    Your emotions are affected by your illness just like your physical health is affected by your emotions.
    Wow, youíve proven to me that no matter how bad youíre hurting someone else somewhere else is hurting just as bad if not more so. Iím so sorry that you had to go through that, it must have been devastating to say the least and itís right up there with her already sleeping with this guy sheís with now for two weeks behind my back.

    No, of course I didnít get her permission, we donít speak to each other at all anymore, but she knew about all the pictures I have of her since we took them together. And yes, not only am I in pain from my illness but now emotional pain on top of it as well.

    Thank you for your kind reply.

  2. #32
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I know how messed up it is, and how messed up I am emoitionally to allow someone to hurt and abuse me like that. I guess I thought if I loved her enough, showed her enough how much I cared she'd change and we could be happy. Yeah, right. I know, severe codependency issues and I was told it probably stems from my childhood as a fear of abandonment. The ones that would be good for me are unappealing, and seem boring, but I gravitate towards the toxic and abusive ones because I'm still trying to "fix" something that I didn't get so long ago.
    You know why you do this. You spelled it out as clear as a bell.
    Re-read this every single time you ask yourself why you go back or why you feel compelled to go back. Recognize the broken in you and fix it.

    As for her picture, I don't see anything great. That's what a heroin addict looks like. But add into it what kind of character she is, not a good one.
    Stop looking at the outside appearance and start being smart enough to see that she is toxic. You can't seriously be this desperate or this disillusioned.

    You also can't be posting other people's pics without their permission. If she finds out at all, it could cause all sorts of problems for you.

  3. #33
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    Why did you provide her pic?

  4. #34
    Bronze Member bdwiii's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Why did you provide her pic?
    I guess I like to put a face to what Iím crying about so that you all can make your own assessments. And to the previous poster who said that I had pretty much discovered my fatal flaw, no, not so much desperate, I have dated several very attractive women over the past years. Itís just for some reason whenever she calls me and finds me single, she always had this power over me where I couldnít resist her. She could draw me back in easily and sheís used this to her advantage repeatedly. There was a time I was with someone else and she tried to get with me and I turned her away because unlike her, I will never cheat on the girl Iím with ever. I know how horribly painful that is and I surely donít like it being done to me so why would I ever do it to someone I love?

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  6. #35
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    You would be wise to remove the photo of her, OP.

    We don't need to see what she looks like, and you don't have her permission to post it on a public forum. Especially when you have also posted some quite personal details about her. A quick Google image search with that photo - done by someone with more nefarious intentions - could reveal a lot more about her than you realize and expose her to even more risk.

    Do the responsible thing and delete it from here.

  7. #36
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Keep this friend, ditch the girlfriend.
    Originally Posted by bdwiii
    a very good friend of mine who knows of my history with this woman said to me, "She's going to put you in an early grave."

  8. #37
    Bronze Member bdwiii's Avatar
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    I removed the photo. Yeah you're right, no one needs to see what she looks like. Knowing her lifestyle is bad enough.

  9. #38
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    If you want to stop crying, then go back to your first post about this woman in 2006. It was a train wreck after you first started dating and you knew it. You said you would end it. I believe she got pregnant with someone else's child.

    I really don't understand what you're crying over, unless it's all the time you've lost on this terrible relationship.

  10. #39
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    Originally Posted by bdwiii
    I guess I like to put a face to what Iím crying about so that you all can make your own assessments. And to the previous poster who said that I had pretty much discovered my fatal flaw, no, not so much desperate, I have dated several very attractive women over the past years. Itís just for some reason whenever she calls me and finds me single, she always had this power over me where I couldnít resist her. She could draw me back in easily and sheís used this to her advantage repeatedly. There was a time I was with someone else and she tried to get with me and I turned her away because unlike her, I will never cheat on the girl Iím with ever. I know how horribly painful that is and I surely donít like it being done to me so why would I ever do it to someone I love?
    Get out of the victim mode. You made the decision to repeatedly return.

    Move on with your life already. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

  11. #40
    Bronze Member bdwiii's Avatar
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    Actually that post from 2006 was someone else but point taken. Yeah, I'm doing what I have to do to clear my head of this and it'll pass, it's just a bit fresh right now. But yeah, I've learned my lesson.

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