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Thread: my usually lovely boyfriend is now distancing me and I don't know what to do

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I would've dropped this guy yesterday! He's nothing but red flags all over the place! He sounds like a real jerk. It was NOT unreasonable for you to ask him to pick you up in the rain especially because you were shopping for HIM. He could've told his friend that he needed to cut his visit short due to inclement weather yet he left you when you needed his help. He certainly will never have your back. I can tell you this much for sure. And, he's into porn. What a guy!

    Whenever he's defensive, he loves nothing more than to engage in gaslighting you. Google the word: "Gaslighting." It's classic psychological warfare at its nastiest.

    You need to dump "Mr. Amazing." What a loser. You deserve to be treated with respect.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this is happening. Dating 14 weeks is the getting to know you period. What you learned about him unfortunately is that he has a mean temper and doesn't care much about you. Are you exclusive? Is he on/off with someone?

    No matter what kind of gobbledygook lines he fed you in the whirlwind period, you have now seen his true colors and they aren't pretty. You need to end it and resolve never to let someone treat you this way, no less apologize to them when they are being jerks.
    Originally Posted by jeezrick
    It was raining and I asked him if he could pick me up from the train station as I had been getting his shopping delivery for him. He told me he was taking me home and didn't speak a word for the car ride home. He then proceeded to break up with me, completely emotionless. He blanked me pretty much for 5 days.

  3. #13
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    I'm sorry OP, but you are seeing this guy's true colours. And they ain't pretty colours.

    This is who he is. Volatile. Quick-tempered. It seems he can be perfectly fine sometimes, and a right jerkwad the others. This is not going to have a happy ending.

    I would call it a day and walk away.

  4. #14
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    Jeezrick, Where are you?

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Jeezrick, Where are you?
    I just now realized this was you:
    [Register to see the link]

    He has not been "lovely". He kept you waiting at a coffee shop for hours while he ran errands after you spent money traveling and for a hotel room when, as you said, you are "broke".

    And this is not the first time you two have argued. It's been a few times in only a few short weeks.

    I get that you are emotionally attached to him, but this relationship has been bad for a while now. It's apparently not going to get better.

    Instead of continuing to try to force this to work, maybe it's time to realize you two are not compatible.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    I just now realized this was you:
    [Register to see the link]

    He has not been "lovely". He kept you waiting at a coffee shop for hours while he ran errands after you spent money traveling and for a hotel room when, as you said, you are "broke".

    And this is not the first time you two have argued. It's been a few times in only a few short weeks.

    I get that you are emotionally attached to him, but this relationship has been bad for a while now. It's apparently not going to get better.

    Instead of continuing to try to force this to work, maybe it's time to realize you two are not compatible.
    Good catch, bolt.

    OP, this relationship is already over. You need to stop wasting your time and tears on a dead end.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    I just now realized this was you:
    [Register to see the link]

    He has not been "lovely". He kept you waiting at a coffee shop for hours while he ran errands after you spent money traveling and for a hotel room when, as you said, you are "broke".

    And this is not the first time you two have argued. It's been a few times in only a few short weeks.

    I get that you are emotionally attached to him, but this relationship has been bad for a while now. It's apparently not going to get better.

    Instead of continuing to try to force this to work, maybe it's time to realize you two are not compatible.
    Yes. Good catch. I remember this jerk.

    OP, why are you still involved with this guy? Do you usually date guys that treat you badly? You seem to have zero boundaries and allow people to treat you poorly.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately he keeps breaking up with you and going silent for days at a time. Why be on edge with someone who wants to end things? He sounds like a really drug-using jerk. Dump him.
    Originally Posted by jeezrick
    This resulted in him blanking me for 3 days. I messaged twice basically pleading to talk, not understanding why he was ignoring me. Eventually he said that I was "guilt tripping" him, that we ALWAYS argue when we are not together. I feel like he's about to break things off and I am heartbroken.

  10. #19
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    Am I reading this right ... you bought groceries for him, it was raining, you asked for a ride... and then he took his time and went for coffee with his friend first?? If that's what happened - what a jerk. Imagine being married to him, what kind of crap he would pull.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    There’s nothing lovely about this guy but the fantasy you’ve created about him. Ditch that, and grasp reality. You’ll thank yourself later.

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