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Thread: How long is too long to meet the family?

  1. #1
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    How long is too long to meet the family?

    Good Afternoon everyone, so I will make this short and sweet ;) I've been with my bf for about 8 months or so, however we have yet to meet each other's kids or families. I have a 6 year old daughter, and he has two sons. Now we've taken trips together, we see each other through out the week. We also talk frequently through out the day. I mean it feels like we are a couple, as that is what we both call it. But I can't help but to feel that our relationship has stalled. Natural progression of a relationship is to start integrating your partner more into your world but this is not the case for me. Our relationship has stopped growing.

    Yes, I have mentioned to him that I am ready to meet his family, and all he said was ok. I didn't want to push so I have not made any more mention of it.

    When he spends time with his sons, he does not want to see me. That is okay, but now I am feeling left out from that part of his life. I know most would say to wait it out, but it's beginning to feel like our relationship has stalled. When is it too long to wait? We are both in our 30s if that means anything lol

  2. #2
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    I am confused, as you broke up with your ex in April? That is not 8 months. You also created a thread about the ex in May.

    Did you jump from one relationship to the other, or were you dating both at the same time?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    I am confused, as you broke up with your ex in April? That is not 8 months. You also created a thread about the ex in May.

    Did you jump from one relationship to the other, or were you dating both at the same time?
    Just saw that, too. And posting all the way into May about the ex. Kind of a convoluted timeline there.

    Isolating the context, while not a single parent, I was raised by one. Not at all a knock on my mom as it wasn't at all like she was bringing a new boyfriend home every season or anything, but I can tell you that I do see the wisdom many dating single parents have in not involving the kids until you're pretty much engaged or, probably even better, actually engaged and serious about it. Hopefully that point would take much longer than "8 months" to reach, though. I can say though that even if a legit 8 months, not incorporating the kids is both objectively and conventionally speaking still well within the confines of healthy boundaries.

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    Hey Holly :) we began dating in Feb, broke up in April and got back together in May. Sorry for the confusion

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  6. #5
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    Is his the same guy who dumped you without telling you, and went back to his ex? I am assuming he was sleeping with her when you were together?

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    Hey J.man fair enough. Now, just a thought, waiting until you are engaged? don't you think that too may be a bit extreme? I mean you also want to ensure that your S.O. gets along with your children/family before taking that next step. I honestly don't feel ready for all that (marriage/engagement) but I would like to see our relationship progressively growing.

  8. #7
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    I thought you were completely done with this guy in May?

  9. #8
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Eight months is still pretty fresh for any relationship, and with the breakup 2-3 months in it's even fresher.

    To the question at hand: I don't think there is any hard answer about timelines, as everyone has a different approach, philosophy, comfort level. For some it's hard to "know" how serious you can get until kids have been met, while others want to protect the kids until they "know" things are serious—not "serious" just on the feelings level, but on the this-is-my-new-partner level. At the end of the day it's ideally something of an open and ongoing conversation, one where logic and patience are far better guides than hopes and feelings, and certainly not assumptions.

    Is there a chance here that the feeling the relationship has "stalled" doesn't have to do with the kids? I ask because, as both a child of single parents and someone in a fresh-ish relationship with one, I think it's best that kids/integration aren't used as barometers of romantic health.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Is his the same guy who dumped you without telling you, and went back to his ex? I am assuming he was sleeping with her when you were together?
    nah I dumped him because he stood me up, but he made it up to me.

  11. #10
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    Guys please stop pulling up my previous threads lol focus on the question at hand> I appreciate all of the advice thanks ya'll

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