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Thread: Should i bother trying to get him back into my life or let go?

  1. #11
    Member havannahg's Avatar
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    This is an eyeopener MissCanuck, thank you for taking time out to elaborate for me. What you've said may be the truths i haven't yet made sink in as i have been stuck in my head and personal feelings as well as the past. indeed its all for the best. After the feedbacks i've recieved im feeling more at ease with the truth or as if i should cut myself some slack and just focus on my own contentment. Free of any hope for future reconciliation. I've done well thus far by staying away and having enough dignity to not feel compelled to reach out in any way. In someway i suddenly feel empowered. Thank you for your insight.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Good luck with the pool league! Sorry this happened. Unfortunately without a defined dating/relationship situation, misunderstandings like this happen. Let it stay at no contact. In the meantime enjoy your league and start talking to other guys, being friendly etc. Next time talk about specifically what you want, once you know each other well enough.
    Originally Posted by havannahg
    I joined a womens pool 🎱 league in february. its been about 45 days No Contact and apart of me hopes by now he misses me and would reconcile in anyway.

  3. #13
    Member havannahg's Avatar
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    Thank you Wiseman2. I've actually began chatting with other guys and stuff. I'm not invested in anyway but it is nice. The league continues 😄 Thanks for the well wishes.

  4. #14

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    OP I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through.

    Personally there're no way I could be with and sleep with the same man for 8 months and not expect to be in a committed relationship with him, but that's just me.
    It's not unusual that you are very hurt as you effectively were in a committed relationship even though you guys didn't have that 'talk' to put a label on it.

    As they say "It's called a break up because it is broken" but I know what you are feeling as I am feeling same at mo.
    It does get better with time as you know. I would put money on the fact he will come back sniffing around though if this other girl doesn't work out. Are you prepared for that?

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  6. 10-11-2019, 04:03 PM

  7. #15
    Member havannahg's Avatar
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    Hi MurphyB, im infact not prepared as im not confident he'll cone back around but if it happens i know fir a fact ill oblige him. Nevertheless thats not the focus. One day at a time. Indeed, we definitely had something going tho unspoken. he too realized it and i still say took the cheap way out. lessons learned

  8. #16
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Iím all in for letting go of anything called a situationship. Clarity matters. If you didnít have that during the thing, youíre not exactly positioned well to get it now.

    Skip that, respect yourself, and raise your bar on what you want and deserve. Then hold out for it and donít settle for anyone who offers less.

  9. #17
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    Originally Posted by havannahg
    ndeed, we definitely had something going tho unspoken. he too realized it and i still say took the cheap way out
    I think the issue is the different emotions you attached to it.

    He was evidently of the "this feels good in the moment, let's have fun with it while it lasts"- type mindset, while you were assigning deeper meaning to it, hoping it meant something more. Thinking you were building a connection. It didn't mean that for him, or he would've been keen to commit and start an actual relationship with you. Not fun to realize, I know.

    But yes, an important lesson learned. Don't continue to see or sleep with men who keep you at arm's length and avoid any commitment. They avoid committing for a reason, and it's usually because they don't see you as girlfriend material for them.

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