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Thread: I am in love with a boy who doesn’t like me back

  1. #1

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    I am in love with a boy who doesn’t like me back

    I am in love with a boy he is a senior in high school and I am an junior. I have liked him since the second semester of my freshman year. I have always crushed on boys before but never this severely. I thought he liked me in back when I was in freshman year, he would always stand close to me and he’d always acknowledge me or try to talk to me. When I attempted to dm him on Instagram he soft blocked me (blocked me and unblocked me so I wouldn’t see his profile anymore). Any normal person would have gotten over him, but I decided to continue to like him. I thought this past summer I was over him, but when I saw him after summer vacation I got that feeling. Even though he blocked me (he never officially rejected me) I still think he is the cutest, kindest, coolest person ever. Since this is his senior year I keep having to remind myself that he will leave and I will probably never see him again and this killsss me !! Part of me cries for myself because it hurts so bad to love him, but the other part still hopes and prays that I can try to talk to him and maybe try to shoot my shot again. Any advice for talking to him after almost a year of not speaking to him? I admit I am desperate and any form of advice other than “girl get over him” would really help. I’m scared to bother him. Every now and then I still catch his eye and he will look my way and just kinda stare back and it doesn’t seem like he is upset when he looks at me? He confuses me but he is so precious

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    If he's soft blocked you or whatever that's not a good sign. Don't keep hassling him if he doesn't want to talk to you.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    You are really tormenting yourself over a guy who is not interested in you. You will likely fall in and out of love many times in your young life, and that is all part of growing up and maturing. You can either accept he's not interested or try talking to him by saying hi when you see him. But be prepared to be rejected as I really dont think he's interested in you. The smarter thing to do would be find a guy who is your age and cultivate a good friendship with him.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ask your parents to take you to a doctor for a check up and a referral to a therapist. It' normal to have crushes, but your are getting obsessed and developing some unhealthy thoughts. Talk to a trusted adult about this.
    Originally Posted by itsSDawg
    When I attempted to dm him on Instagram he soft blocked me (blocked me and unblocked me so I wouldn’t see his profile anymore).Part of me cries for myself because it hurts so bad to love him.I am desperate and any form of advice other than “girl get over him”

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Ahhh yes I remember obsessing over David G_____, when I was in junior high. Been there hun, and what you are going through is normal. Those damn hormones! You are still developing mentally and crushing on a particular boy happens to most every girl your age, whether it be someone in school or a celebrity. Thinking about them makes everything feel so wonderful am I right?. The fact is, yes you will get over him, but in time. The only advice I can give you is to try really hard not to focus your attention on him, but instead find some fun activities with your friends to keep you busy. The less time you spend sitting around thinking of him, the better.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    Ahhh yes I remember obsessing over David G_____, when I was in junior high. Been there hun, and what you are going through is normal. Those damn hormones! You are still developing mentally and crushing on a particular boy happens to most every girl your age, whether it be someone in school or a celebrity. Thinking about them makes everything feel so wonderful am I right?. The fact is, yes you will get over him, but in time. The only advice I can give you is to try really hard not to focus your attention on him, but instead find some fun activities with your friends to keep you busy. The less time you spend sitting around thinking of him, the better.
    Same!

    Ah unrequited young love.

    Mine was a boy named Justin. I strategically made sure I was paired with him as much as I could.

    I even got teased and bullied by other kids cause it was so obvious.

    Teen years can be rough.

    I know you don’t want to hear it, but you did try and it wasn’t a good reaction, if he feels for you the way you do he will come to you.

    But keep your tenacity, going after you want, never lose that, just you know, learn when to bow out.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    learn when to bow out.
    Yes, a life skill to work on. How to accept things graciously that are not meant for you.
    You have a crush on this person, it is not reciprocated. That's okay. It stings, but life will go on.

    Growing into a woman means you won't always get your own way but you need to learn to accept that and to cope with it in the best way you can.
    Try not to take it personally.
    This guy doesn't feel the same way, all it means is, he is not the right guy for you. Nothing more.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    There is always a chance 10 years from now, you two will run into each other and you will think "what did I ever see in him!" and he will think "Wow she turned out so amazing!"

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    I am going to be harsh so brace yourself. The person you are crushing on doesn't exist. There is nothing "precious" about someone who has blocked you. The guy is just not that into you anymore. People change. He has changed. Yet you have brainwashed yourself attributing to him false qualities and interpreting his random stares in a way that feeds your fantasies... I suggest you take a long hard look within. Why is it you want to go after someone who has rejected you? Why do you feel that rejecting you is ok and something to reward with more effort and attention? You are young. The sooner you learn not to go after people who are just not that into you, the less heartbreak you will experience and the less time you will waste. When someone runs hot and cold that should be your cue to let go NOT latch on.

  11. #10
    Silver Member MirrorKnight's Avatar
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    To echo what Clio said... you are in love with a fantasy, not a real guy. How can you truly know somebody who you have not spoken to for a year and who clearly does not want to have anything to do with you?! It's hormones and the idealism of youth. Maybe my story can give you an idea of what I mean...

    I experienced my first crush when I was 12 years old, a girl called Emily. She sat next to me for two years in history class and was the first girl I developed feelings for. I asked her out on a Valentine's Day and she gently turned me down. For the next three years I continued to love her without really doing anything about it. I was painfully shy around girls at this point, I sent her a Valentine's card via a friend one year, but told my friend not to tell her who it was from. She probably figured it out, but chose not to acknowledge it.

    Aside from the secret Valentine, I kept my distance and had minimal interaction with her for three years. I was in love with the ideal of a girl that I built up around the glimpses of her that I would see in real life. I wasn't a weird stalker kid or anything, but I remember that I would always try to catch a glimpse of her from my bus home as she walked home from school and could spot her backpack from a mile away.

    I snapped out of my delusions when I was 15, when we went on a school trip together, which meant prolonged contact with this girl that I had built up in my mind into a perfect angel. Of course the real girl could not live up to my imaginary ideal. Sure she was still pretty, but close up I noticed imperfections that I did not see before, I suddenly discovered that she was not the timid feminine girl I thought she was, she laughed loudly, gossiped like other girls, was a bit tom-boyish and drank alcohol that some of the kids somehow sneaked into trip. (I was a goody-two-shoes and disapproved of such bad behaviour :P)

    I had weirdly committed to loving somebody who did not exist, at the exclusion of even considering anyone else. Suddenly the wool was pulled from my eyes. I was still attracted to her, sure, but the illusion was gone. Puppy love was gone.

    I moved schools shortly after that school trip and never saw Emily again, though just before we went off to different universities, I did ring her to have an awkward but meaningful (for me) chat with her, where I acknowledged the effect she had in my young life, and wished her well going forwards.


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