I find another guy attractive...

Hi

I am 34 yrs old and this guy at work is 37. I will call him Guy 1.

He used to be my manager's manager. During my time working with him (I have moved offices but not buildings so I still encounter him now and again), he chatted to me more so when he and I were alone, on one occasion we sat together to chat and the side of his body was almost pressed against mine and my leg was pressed against his, if sitting facing me he would have his legs apart. If he ever came over to my desk to talk he would always grab a chair, sit very close to me and be eye-level with me. I have noticed that with other women I worked with he either leant across their desk whilst remaining next to them or stand over them and talk to them.

I told Guy 2, who has been known to wink at me, touch my arm and look at my legs (he even told me at the Christmas party just gone that if I wasn't taken he would have me) about the chat me and Guy 1 had and Guy 2 said he had never known Guy1 to speak so positively or supportively about anyone the way he did with me.

The 2 guys are both friends. The two guys usually leave work together and Guy 1 also gives Guy 2 lifts home in his car though not as much as he used to; he says he blames Guy 2 for getting me drunk at the Christmas party and despite this Guy 2 has told me Guy 1 has mentioned about what happened at the party and asked about where I am or if he still sees me around the building.

A month after I left for another team we bumped into each other and we chatted outside of work, he then held the door open for me as well and let me go first. I went to the Christmas party last year and I caught him out of the corner of my eye looking down the back of my dress, since then he has been intently watching me talk to other guy friends or even girl friends out of the corner of my eye, glancing at me, staring at me, blushing when I speak to him, I caught him staring at my legs and bottom before we made eye contact - even though I caught him at it he just grinned widely. This all happens at work. Another time I was wearing a skirt and out of the corner of my eye I saw him glance at my bottom and legs as I leant down – and there were other people around at the time.

He came over to me when I was alone and he told me he sent me a message on social media asking for my mobile number but he did not send a friend request or follow me like he did with the others on the team. He has told me as well that he has been looking at my pictures on my social media profile. It was so long ago he sent this message, and the only reason I didn't reply was because I was locked out of my account and couldn't get back into it.

I interviewed for a permanent role on his team (I was a temporary worker at the time) and even though he was note taking he was giving me clues as to how to answer each question or to give a second answer if my first one didn't seem enough.

When Guy 1 sees me he acknowledges me and his voice deepens a little and goes quieter, he doesn't smile however if there are people around. He also reduces the distance between us when we approach each other and we almost touch.

He does smile at me when we chat and he gives me more eye contact, this happens when there is no one around who knows us.

Another morning at work Guy 1 walked across my path and brushed himself against the front of my body. I told one of my girl friends about this and what happened in the past and she said by the sounds of things he's trying to touch me.

On Monday afternoon just gone I could hear Guy 1 and Guy 2 chatting as they were walking down the stairwell after work. Both are very loud talkers and the stairwell does echo a lot. I came up the stairwell with my girl friends – there were about 4 of us – and we all walked out of the building together. I could feel eyes on me and when I quickly glanced around I noticed that Guy 1 was turned to look straight at me, wide-eyed, despite being in conversation with Guy 2 the whole time.

He is single but I am not - he knows I am taken, that I am straight and how old I am. His demeanour also changes from one day to the next so it can be difficult for anyone to catch him on a good day. I like him as a friend but I don't understand his behaviour? Thank you

UPDATE 09/10/2019 – I encountered him on 2 separate occasions today – but the second time I saw him I'm afraid to say I found him attractive...

(I have had many bad experiences with boys in the past so I want to approach this the right way – I know talking to him directly would be ideal but we only see each other in work)

Try to focus on Guy #3, someone you will meet and date outside of work, when you stop worrying about winks and looks and office flirting.

I once had a crush on my co-worker, he was playing games with me, trying to seduce me, it was only after he got fired that I realized how stupid it was. Stay away from these guys, I know it's an ego boost, but it's safer to meet men outside work. Just keep it professional.

The right way is to put your amateur romance novel ideas into practice with your boyfriend rather than your coworkers. Or dump him if you feel you're incapable of that. Enough people around here have been burned by infidelity where your post isn't going to be nearly as amusing for them to read, let alone entertain, as it clearly was for you in writing it.

You have a bf, focus on that. Otherwise dump the poor guy.

They are just wanting to bang u, that's it.

Is this a journal/diary you are writing?

UPDATE 09/10/2019 – I encountered him on 2 separate occasions today – but the second time I saw him I'm afraid to say I found him attractive.

He is single but I am not -

He is single but I am not -

He is single but I am not -

He is single but I am not -

He is single but I am not -

He is single but I am not -

Just trying to keep you real, chickie.

I think you're just a piece of meat to the guys in the office, OP. I'm sorry to say this. They're ogling at you and for some reason you're taking it seriously. I'd pay a bit more attention to your job if I were in your shoes and less time on this type of attention. It's not good. You're devaluing yourself.

Try and figure out what's so wrong in your current relationship. There's something seriously wrong there.

Under review...