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Thread: After guys meet me in person they say im "not bad looking"?

  1. #21
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    I should add that I don't do this on all dates and they all agree to go a first date with me anyway despite knowing about my bad experience with guys beforehand so if its a turn off why do they still go on a first date with me anyway? I usually ask the questions of "am i pretty?" after the date and the guy friendzones me despite saying "yes" and wanting a relationship before. I only cried on 4 first dates cause i felt the guy didn't like me and was gonna reject me and then they do not long after.

    The ones that blocked me after the date i cried during the date cause I felt he didnt like me cause was quiet and awkward and idk so i felt humiliated. One guy told me it was my weight that made him not want to see me again or he said "I felt too high and mighty to date a thick girl" so idk I mean my body pics are always recent and he knew I was a heavy girl and i dont Photoshop to look thinner. He assured me i looked like my pics but that he was just trying to give everyone a chance.

    He also had "I care more about personality than looks so thats what makes me fall for someone" in his dating profile so idk maybe he got a message from a thin girl so he decided to go after her? Tho he told me he decided he wasnt ready for a relationship eighter. I also dont know about the two guys that said "im sorry" after I told them "I tried to not be misleading in my pics " or "im sorry you think I'm ugly in person" like they didnt say i was its just i say it and those two said "im sorry" like what does that mean?

    Do they think it's weird i said that and got put off by it? This was after the date and one guy i hadnt seen in a year and i said that. It's always been my fear to look ugly in person.

  2. #22
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    Have you read a word we have said? It is about your self esteem! Period!

    Get yourself into therapy!

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You seem obsessed with your appearance. Why is that? You need to ask your parents to take you to a doctor and therapist for help. You have an unhealthy preoccupation with your looks. You seem to have no personality or interests.

    If you live at home move out. Do you work or go to school? Stop posting this much nonsense on social media. Get involved in some interesting activities that go beyond social media.
    Originally Posted by Sakura123
    my dad is kind of controlling and sometimes abusive

    I guess I keep asking them cause I feel like they are lying when they say "yes I'm pretty" or the rare times a guy has complimented me on a first date.

  4. #24
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    Fyi I do have interests*. I can cook Mexican food and Indian food and Thai food pretty well. I also draw alot and read. I do tell my dates well usually ahead of time what my hobbies are cause we would message for like a week at the most before meeting.
    Last edited by Sakura123; 10-10-2019 at 08:01 AM.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Do you work? Go to school? Do you belong to any clubs or groups? What about a general support group to vent about your dating woes? Have you considered volunteering? Try getting involve in things that provide you with more social interaction and help you get out of the house more and are not this sedentary and solitary. Try taking some local courses or classes that you enjoy or that introduce you to socially fun things. Why not update your look? Get fit, join a gym, get a make-over or new clothes and hair. Do some things that make you feel better about yourself.
    Originally Posted by Sakura123
    I can cook Mexican food and Indian food and Thai food pretty well. I also draw alot and read.

  7. #26
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    Sakura, please find help before you attract a creepy man who will end up hurting you.You mentioned your dad is controlling, you're 23, can you try moving out? I don't know what's going on in your life, but you really should not be dating right now.

  8. #27
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    Yea I'll get into therapy and yes I do work. I work at a grocery store. I did however ask casually some guys if they found a girl attractive in person then would they find it offputting to where they dont want a second date with her if she asks how she looks or if shes attractive and they all said no they wouldn't find it offputting. I didnt tell them about my dating life or whatever this was just a quick post on Askmen on reddit about if they would find it offputting but they said no. I believe i need to work on my self esteem but I just was curious to see for sure if men really did find it a turn off cause lots of people in my posts seem to be women Idk and women think differently than men .

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by Sakura123
    Yea I'll get into therapy and yes I do work. I work at a grocery store. I did however ask casually some guys if they found a girl attractive in person then would they find it offputting to where they dont want a second date with her if she asks how she looks or if shes attractive and they all said no they wouldn't find it offputting. I didnt tell them about my dating life or whatever this was just a quick post on Askmen on reddit about if they would find it offputting but they said no. I believe i need to work on my self esteem but I just was curious to see for sure if men really did find it a turn off cause lots of people in my posts seem to be women Idk and women think differently than men .
    I don't think you can go by what strangers on the internet tell you -you have no idea what their real age or gender is for one thing. What do you think you can do to work on your self esteem? What steps are you planning to take?

  10. #29
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    Do you have any friends?

    Do you have interests that include other people? Not just things at home?

  11. #30
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    It's not your looks! It is your low self esteem and asking people about your looks!

    Stop asking people and get help. You have a big problem!

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