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Thread: Advice please

  1. #1

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    Advice please

    I am with my boyfriend for ten years. We bought a house together. But he tells me he does not want children yet and that being married isn't in the plan. I am 30 this year and he has just turned 30. From the start I have made him aware that children and marriage is what I want. I want to spend my life with him. I always feel like im naging but we are pushing on. I also have been unhappy recently because he is receiving phone calls and texts from a girl during the night. He says they are just friends but I dont believe him he won't let me meet her, he hides his phone away from me and doesn't answer her calls when im with him. We have had a few arguments about this I've made it clear I'm jealous and dont trust her and want him to stop having contact with her. (I've meet all his other FRIENDS) why would she be calling and texting at night. And tho I do trust him I still cant help but think something is going on between them? Other wise why hide your phone and refuse to show me the messages. Please help me.

  2. #2

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    Reply needed

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    What do you want to do? He's not going to change and if there's already someone else in the picture and he's denying anything is going on between them, he won't magically change his ways and admit something to you now.

    Having children or getting married should be the last thing on your mind given the circumstances.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What do you want? Do not forgo your desire for marriage/family. Can you afford to move out or ask him to leave? This guy sounds like one heartache after the next for you. You are complacent and wishing and hoping. He is merely complacent and seemingly untrustworthy.
    Originally Posted by Mel2019
    I am with my boyfriend for ten years. We bought a house together. From the start I have made him aware that children and marriage is what I want. I want to spend my life with him.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear about all this.

    There's a lot going on here, by the sounds of it. If you want to get married and he doesn't, it almost doesn't matter what's going on with the woman he is texting, understandably painful as that is. Meanwhile, that he is texting another woman, and being defensive and shady about it in ways that have made him a man you no longer trust, could be seen as a sign that you may want to rethink marriage and kids with him, even if those were things he vocalized wanting. Foundations like these do not generally make for happy families and partnerships.

    I guess I'm trying to understand what you want, or are hoping for, right now. If it's a marriage-minded boyfriend you trust, and who conducts himself in a way that makes you feel loved and comfortable, he does not seem to be that man.

    When you bought the house together was there a clear conversation that it was a step toward marriage and family-building?


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