I'm using "disrespectful" in a slightly different way. Think of it as not respecting reality rather than him.Originally Posted by hughkayl
The second time reaching out was driven by nerves, by fear, by your feelings. You didn't like what FB was telling you, without quite knowing what it was telling you, and neither did you like that he told you, again, that he wasn't down to hang right now, that he still wanted silence.
Understandable, all that frustration, since it didn't line up with the story you want to be the real story. So you poked again to see if he'd give you the story you want. You may have asked "How are you doing?" but the intention behind it was "I'm not doing great—please make me feel better." After all, he'd already told you how he was doing.
So, yeah, there was a whiff of "disrespect"—of reality—in that second reach out. And, yes, any further reaching out is more disrespect. Reality, above all, is what demands our respect, even when we don't like reality.
It sucks. We meet people, connect, and pretty quickly start pinning all sorts of hopes on them. But if they don't share those hopes, and don't want yours pinned to them, there is nothing we can do but heal, and move forward. That is self-respect—respecting the reality of our own lives instead of believing another person owes us something to improve that reality.
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