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Thread: Im afraid to lose him

  1. #11
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    Why are you contacting him? He told you he wants space. You should be respecting this!

    Leave him alone.

  2. #12

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    Nope not when we were together, like I still see certain posts and his mutual friends still pop up on the people you may know tab.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    He only promised hanging out, not getting back together. You won't be happy just being friends because you then have to one day witness him being with a new love.

    I would assume he won't be asking you to get back together, so for your own emotional closure, get on with your life. He made the decision to end things, so the ball is in his court. Very often, people lie and give a reasonable explanation to end things, but the real reason would hurt your feelings so a person might go for the less hurtful explanation.

    I'm the type of person who would be comforted by a loved one's presence in time of strife like this. Perhaps he's the opposite and you will have to accept his decision. Since it's caused you pain and there's a low risk of him reconnecting, it's time for you to mourn this relationship so you can heal. I would unfollow him on FB or he will be fresh on your mind every day and that'll prevent closure.

    The right guy will stick around, so hold out for him. Take care.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's time to move forward. Scanning his social media could prevent you from realizing it's over and start the stalking and obsessing mentality. He doesn't owe you anything. Accept it's over. Let him be.
    Originally Posted by hughkayl
    I still see certain posts and his mutual friends still pop up on the people you may know tab.

  5.  

  6. #15
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    I am sorry you are hurting. Trust me I know how this feels.
    I know you may be tempted to contact him " just to say hi" or look at his social media.
    Please do your best to refrain from it. There are wonderful people here that can help you through it.
    I received a great amount of support. Feel free to check my thread but I am warning you- it is long and possibly boring for some.
    I also found a great help in no contact videos on you tube.
    No contact is the only way to go in our case. It is hard but doable.
    We need to carry on girl. Better days will come!

  7. #16

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    I did read some of your thread it really seems like we are in the same boat. I’ve been watching a lot of no contact vids and they’ve been helping me a lot. If you need anything or anyone to talk to you can always DM me!!

  8. #17
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    I know this is hard, but agree with the above—especially the bit about unfollowing on FB for your own peace of mind and healing. It doesn't sound like a healthy platform for you in this moment. I'm not sure how old you are, but as someone who came of age before social media I've become pretty attuned to how poisonous it can be in these situations.

    Back in the day the nuts and bolts of these sad junctures in life were clear as day: someone ends things, asks for space, and from that moment on they go back to their life and you go back to yours—with no warped windows into things in order to get a read on what they are "really" thinking and feeling. Without that window, accepting reality was easier.

    Subtract FB from this and what do you have? A guy you dated for 4 months, who cut things off because he realized, and expressed in clear language, that he wasn't able to date you. You reached back out—totally allowed—and he let you know that he is in the exact same place as he was 60 days prior. Those are the facts here. Shuffle them around any which way and you do not complete the puzzle of a romantic relationship about to take off again.

    So any urge to reach out yet again is driven by you putting your hopes and feelings at a higher level than his, and his reality. That's disrespectful—to him, to reality—and solid relationships, platonic or romantic, do not thrive when they're build on disrespect.

    The person you want to be with, ultimately, is not going to require chess moves and emotional extraction to "make it work." All this spinning is just evidence that he is not that person—not now, which means the ultimate peace and power for you right now is coming to terms with that and letting go of this. It's getting comfortable with the story that this man is not your person.

    Do people come back around, get back together? Yeah, it happens. Rarely—and, generally, it only happens once someone has let go and accepted reality rather than trying to control it to align with their fantasy. So if your heart still longs for him and is writing stories of reconciliation, remind yourself that that only comes by letting go of this chapter, not gripping it so hard that it cracks.

  9. #18

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    So I was being disrespectful to him when I messaged him the second time because I asked how he was doing? Or do you mean if I keep reaching out I’m being disrespectful?

  10. #19
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    He told you he wanted space." he is feeling things out but he said that he didn't want to reach out" By reaching out, you are being very disrespectful. I would find it very annoying. Also, he never responded to your text. That is pretty clear.

    Leave him alone.

  11. #20

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    But he said that he isn’t pushing me away or ignoring me that if I texted him he would answer so idk what changed.

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