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Thread: Should I stay or should I go

  1. #1
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    Should I stay or should I go

    So this is going to be lengthy but bear with me as you need to hear everything.
    My son's mother and I broke up almost a year ago and recently we've reconnected and I would love to get back together with her but I have some issues with how she is when it comes to my family she absolutely despises my mom and tells me my mom is not welcome in her house and my mom the same about her. She's also a very temperamental person she gets angry at the smallest things she doesn't want me conversing with my daughter's mom (yes I have a daughter from a previous marriage). She doesn't want me to go to school functions if her mother is there she doesn't want me to go to parent-teacher meetings with her nothing she doesn't even want me talking to her at all on the phone she loses her mind if she finds out I switched a custody day with her or anything like that. She tells me she doesn't want our son around my parents.
    She also likes to drink and when she drinks and gets drunk she attacks me and throws everything from the past when we broke up in my face constantly now I'm not saying I'm innocent in our previous break up I did keep some Financial things from her. But she just gets furious at the smallest things she got mad at me the other day because I put my son to bed and left him with my sister while I went and got my daughter from Girl Guides and she blew her top I feel like it doesn't matter what I do I can never please this woman I almost feel like she's bipolar she loves me one day and hates me the next am I just crazy or does she seem nuts. She thinks there's something going on with me and my ex-wife which there is not I just try to keep a good relationship with my ex-wife for my daughter sake to make our lives easier while co-parenting. I love her but I don't know if I can handle this kind of stuff all the time

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    She's too insecure, Jason. This isn't a good mix. Co-parenting and being in a new relationship/marriage requires a lot of respect and care. It's about the children, first and foremost. She's insecure about your relationships with other women in your life, it seems. These are important relationships you should be preserving for the sake of your children.

    Continue being a good dad and try dissociating from this relationship in the romantic sense for awhile. It's not doing you any good. Remain cordial and respectful as she is your son's mother.

  3. #3
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    OK, stop thinking you should get back with anyone about whom you keep pacifying so they won't blow a fuse.

    Mother of your kid or not, steer clear.

    She does not get to control your every interaction. So stop telling her of your every action.

    I do not know the situation, but her demands are irrational regarding the kids.

    If I were you, I would be looking into the welfare of your children, not to any romantic interest in this woman.

    So what if she decides to have a meltdown over your relatives. Actually, document those things. They will be useful when you may need to go to family court about custody.

    I recommend that you consult with a lawyer and a mental health professional on how to deal with her.
    '

  4. #4
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    Thank you for your replies yeah it just seems like she is being totally unreasonable my mother and her did have some Choice words previously she's just a very insecure person and she doesn't trust me and it makes it almost impossible for the relationship to work

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  6. #5
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    I know my heart is preventing me from seeing the forest from the trees but it's just so hard when you love somebody but I also know that allowing this Behavior to go on it's just probably making her lose respect for me

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Unless she agreed to never drink again plus attend couples counseling with you and it actually worked, I'd definitely not reconnect with such an unreasonable partner. Attending school functions is all about the child and nothing about inappropriate interactions with an ex.

    You must have seen these red flags when you were dating her and chose to ignore them. I'd stay single for a good long time and concentrate on just being a dad to both of your children right now. I also recommend therapy for yourself to understand your part in why your major relationships haven't worked, because if you don't, you will continue to fail at romance.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok boundaries would help here. You need to get along with your mother, your other ex and your kids. You can get along with this woman or not, but co-parenting is important for your child with her. As far as your mother, she doesn't have to get along with her. It's also not her call if you co-parent with the other child's mother.

    If she is a problem drinker, protect your child and file for sole custody and supervised visitation. You don't get along, so focus on your child.
    Originally Posted by Jason1279
    she absolutely despises my mom and tells me my mom is not welcome in her house and my mom the same about her. she doesn't want me conversing with my daughter's mom (yes I have a daughter from a previous marriage). She also likes to drink and when she drinks and gets drunk

  9. #8
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    What is so wonderful about this woman that you'd ever want to get back with her? She sounds like a jealous control freak to me. I'd steer clear of her and find a sensible woman to be with.

  10. #9
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    For the life of me, I cannot understand why you are attracted to this dynamic. Do you you usually date dramatic women?

    This is so unhealthy for your children. Why would you expose them to this.. Again. Tim to put your children's needs first!


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