Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 14 of 14

Thread: why's this happening

  1. #11
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Age
    29
    Posts
    1,918
    Gender
    Female
    So many red flags. Someone crying in front of you 'numerous' times after a few months has a ton of issues. Him proclaiming all that bs about perfection and marriage is projection and him saying you're out of his league speaks of insecurity.

    He didn't treat you with respect so you should just leave it. One hour is not a long distance?

  2. #12
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    21
    Originally Posted by Honeycomb8
    So many red flags. Someone crying in front of you 'numerous' times after a few months has a ton of issues. Him proclaiming all that bs about perfection and marriage is projection and him saying you're out of his league speaks of insecurity.

    He didn't treat you with respect so you should just leave it. One hour is not a long distance?

    That is what upsets me, I know he has a tonne of issues, and that makes me feel sorry for him. When he calls me manipulative for complaining about a small issue, it makes me feel like he is punishing me. I can't deal with the silent treatment, it's given me anxiety all week. But on the other hand, I understand why he does it - I genuinely don't think he can express his negative emotions.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    35,782
    Gender
    Male
    Sorry to hear this. How are your cultures different? Do you think there is a communication problem? It seems he is trying to back out of the relationship. He's suddenly "very busy, very stressed". It's not just the instagram thing, it's been brewing for a while. Stop contacting him. You don't need to make excuses for him about PTSD, he seems to be managing fine.
    Originally Posted by hacuffiend
    I have been with my boyfriend a few months. we are just different cultures.

    He then said that things have changed between us and that's the elephant in the room.
    He said "I don't know" and "I don't know how we will get back to how it was".
    He said he was so busy and that he didn't spend time with his friends anymore

  4. #14
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    13
    Gender
    Female
    Hey! First of all, I'm sorry you're going through this. :( It sounds absolutely exhausting. (I did read your other post about the moving weekend as well.)

    How long exactly have you guys been together? These kinds of problems this early on aren't a good sign that this will be a long term relationship, let alone just a healthy one. These may be minor and trivial things to have disagreements about in an average relationship, but the way he's responding to these issues is extreme and out of left field. Personally, I don't think he's ready for a relationship. He sounds like he has a lot of his own issues to figure out, and maybe seeing a therapist about the ptsd would be beneficial for him as well. He seems to be sabotaging this relationship, not you. I'd take that as a sign that's it's time to move on.

    I know how hard it is when you love and care a lot about someone to break it off. I went through a really rough breakup recently with someone who I still love and care about very much, but we weren't good together. Maybe you guys can remain friends or move towards a friendship after this storm has blown over and you've both moved on? Since it seems like you have a deep connection, maybe a friendship is the way to go. At least at this point in time.

    Don't sacrifice yourself and your emotional well-being for this. It's not worth it.

  5.  

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •