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Thread: Great date and then nothing

  1. #1
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    Great date and then nothing

    I just started dating again and met this great guy last week who I have a ton in common with. I felt like we had a great connection and aligned on so many things. At the end of the date we made out and then he asked me what next week (this week) was like for me and said hed let me know a day that worked for him.

    Its been like 5 days since the date...guessing he is not interested? Im just really confused because if he wasnt interested then why would he initiate asking what I was doing next week? He also texted me after saying it was great learning about me and hed let me know about this week....I also sent him a text Friday asking him how his week was and got no response....

    I want to send him a text saying something like hey, Im assuming youre not interested in going out again, but can you let me know that?. What is a way to say this without coming across as pathetic? 🙈 feeling pathetic for pining over a boy Ive known for such a short time

  2. #2
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    No, please do not send that text. It sounds self-pitying and insecure.

    For all you know, something came up. OR, he's one of those who changes his mind and decides just disappearing is better than dealing with someone who might get upset or angry.

    Either way, I'd assume this one is done at least for the time being. Keep dating, don't let this make you give up hope.

  3. #3
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    Awe OP Im sorry, sounds like he ghosted you! I wouldnt send any text and just move forward. Some people unfortunately on dating sites arent looking for much more then something casual.

    It sounds like he got what he needed from the date when you made out with him.

    I once went on a date with a guy like that a year ago before I met my current boyfriend of nine months.

    You just got to keep moving forward and tell yourself youll find better.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Dont send that text, it makes you sound desperate. Maybe something happened, maybe he's super busy, maybe he changed his mind. Chalk this up to experience and move on.

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  6. #5
    No I wouldn't send that text! You sent him one already, just leave it at that. He will either respond or not. Perhaps something unexpected came come up this weekend and he'll get in touch with you Monday. Maybe he lost or broke his phone?? You don't know. Let him be the one to text next ....and if it goes too long then you should just assume it's over and move on. Good luck- I hope you hear from him soon!

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Actions speak louder than words. Leave him alone and don't bother. His ghosting you is his message to you which is: NOT INTERESTED. END. IT'S OVER.

  8. #7
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    I'll echo what the others have already said: don't send that text.

    If you don't hear from him within a couple more days, I'd assume he's changed his mind. No need to confirm that with a text. It sucks but I wouldn't stress it.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's one date. You are both talking to and meeting other people. Do not send preemptive desperate and insecure sounding stuff like this. It's creepy. Also cut to the case and skip meaningless chitchat texts. Ask him out for a day this weekend. Be confident. If he never responds just move on.

    This is not a relationship and if unfortunately, it turns out to be a one-and-done, sending this bizarre "breakup text" will assure he never contacts you again.
    Originally Posted by Gabbalabba
    Its been like 5 days since the date...guessing he is not interested?
    I want to send him a text saying something like hey, Im assuming youre not interested in going out again, but can you let me know that?.

  10. #9
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    I had a number of one and done where the guy asked me what I was doing the next week, whether I wanted to see a certain movie etc and never followed up. Without a time and place it's just words basically. If he'd said "let's get together next Saturday, I'll call you so we can discuss what we want to do" then maybe I'd follow up.

    I followed up once. He asked me if I wanted to see a specific movie the following week -I said yes. I heard nothing. I called him. Really awkward conversation -he said "oh right" -he "remembered" about his offer to see the movie. So we made a plan to see the movie. The first meet -tons of chemistry -he even asked me what kind of engagement ring I generally liked, etc (this was a set up) and he was really enthusiastic. Movie date -barely there, also a bad cold which didn't help, etc but I still showed interest, never heard from him again. I think he agreed to see the movie because he felt obligated and was on the fence. Ick.

    Please don't text. You showed interest by making out, said you'd like to see him again, ball is in his court. Many people change their minds after a first meet for many reasons that often have nothing to do with the person.

    I don't think he's ghosting either -he met you once, he mentioned getting together again, silence =lack of interest. Would you prefer to hear from him as to how you are so "amazing" but he realized he's "not ready" for a relationship right now? Do you want to text him so he knows yet again how crazy you are about him? Because that is how it will come across. And a little desperate too.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Ya that sux. So many start "Where's my second date?" threads. The best thing to do is to not invest so much in a first/second date date, and keep your options open. If you don't hear from them, you probably won't. We all know an interested guy will not let you slip away and plan a date right away.

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