Please help me with my breakup. Not over it. Been 6 months

[ttlove23]

I think its a temporary one till January. The next court date is January. I am not sure if he will do a full 2 year order. I met him through mutual friends. We spend 5 days in September together and he lived with me. Then 7 days in December. He lived in my apartment. Then, in February for his birthday i flew down there and was with him for 3 days. we called and face timed multiple times of the day. Again, we had plans for future and he wanted me to move down to florida for med school while we were in the relationship.

I was lurking till 3 weeks ago. I had to stop because it was making me depressed. I blocked them again. I am barely living now. i don't enjoy life at all. I do things to barely surviving. Half of my memory before him is gone. My memory before him is blurry. My brain can't grasp it. i guess this is due to the 3 month depressive episode i had to go through.

Sometimes i have false hope (if you want to call it)that he will come back, i pray for God to even bring him back. I still look forward to apply to med schools down in florida.

Why do you mean it has gone way too far off the rails to ever be repaired? I really wish i never met him. He did mess me up. I don't deserve this for loving him. I fight against suicidal thoughts every day. its like a war between my head and heart. I wouldn't even wish this on my worst enemy.

[boltnrun]

I think its a temporary one till January. The next court date is January. I am not sure if he will do a full 2 year order. I met him through mutual friends. We spend 5 days in September together and he lived with me. Then 7 days in December. He lived in my apartment. Then, in february for his birthday i flew down there and was with him for 3 days. we called and face timed multiple times of the day. Again, we had plans for future and he wanted me to move down to florida for med school while we were in the relationship.

I was lurking till 3 weeks ago. I had to stop because it was making me depressed. I blocked them again. I am barely living now. i don't enjoy life at all. I do things to barely surviving. Half of my memory before him is gone. My memory before him is blurry. My brain can't grasp it. i guess this is due to the 3 month depressive episode i had to go through.

Sometimes i have false hope (if you want to call it)that he will come back, i pray for God to even bring him back. I still look forward to apply to med schools down in florida.

Why do you mean t has gone way too far off the rails to ever be repaired? I really wish i never met him. He did mess me up. I don't deserve this for loving him. I fight against suicidal thoughts every day. its like a war between my head and hart. I wouldnt even wish this on my worst enemy.

Please, please seek professional help. If you still think it's a good idea to move near him, if you are suicidal, you need help.

Also, please tell your family. They need to know how you're feeling.

[ninjabib]

In the nicest way you need professional help, please ensure that you get it so you can move on with your life.

[MissCanuck]

I really wish i never met him. He did mess me up. I don't deserve this for loving him. I fight against suicidal thoughts every day. its like a war between my head and heart. I wouldn't even wish this on my worst enemy.

Do you have family or close friends nearby? Do they know how much you're struggling?

Please, seek professional help immediately.

[ttlove23]

i have therapy soon. My parents knew it and they help me and listen to me all day. But i am always struggling with thought. I miss him very much and want him back. i just can't accept the fact that he couldn't see how much i loved him and i was willing to fix it and do whatever it takes to fix the relationship.

[boltnrun]

i have therapy soon. My parents knew it and they help me and listen to me all day. But i am always struggling with thought. I miss him very much and want him back. i just can't accept the fact that he couldn't see how much i loved him and i was willing to fix it and do whatever it takes to fix the relationship.

Hopefully "soon" is in the next week or so. Support is a good thing to have.

[ttlove23]

im not thinking about moving there anytime soon only when i get accepted to med schools down there which might take 2 years. I want to contact him and see where we can go from there. But i hate having false hope and looking forward to something that will probably never happen. when we were together next to each other everything was perfect. but he let us go over some phone arguments.

[ttlove23]

yes i am booking one for next week

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this, but you can do much better finding a local bf who can spend time with you, doesn't drink this much, treats you better and who you don't have to worry about. Let it go. Get on some dating apps and join some clubs, groups etc and start talking to, meeting and dating local real-life real-men. 3 meetups in 8 mos is a very lonely life. You can do better than that. Don't get stuck behind a screen, it's not how relationships are built.

[smackie9]

After your first therapy session you will feel much better.