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Thread: Tricky.

  1. #1

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    Tricky.

    I'm not one to hide my feelings however I feel the need to express myself. Im spoken for and so is my best friend. But over the years I've fallen in love with her. Even before me and my girlfriend got together. I love my girlfriend. But for some reason I'm feeling very conflicted. And I don't know why. Should I bury it or speak about it?

    Any advice?

  2. #2
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    If your "best friend" said she was in love with you, would you dump your girlfriend?

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    No. I just feel a strange confliction. And I'm not sure why or whether to just express what's going on. I don't like hiding things from people.

  4. #4
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    Originally Posted by melcher390
    No. I just feel a strange confliction. And I'm not sure why or whether to just express what's going on. I don't like hiding things from people.
    Well, if you confess to your girlfriend she might make the decision for you.

    If my boyfriend told me he was in love with someone else I would see no point in staying with him.

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  6. #5

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    It's just not intentionally trying to hurt anybody. It just kind of clicked in my head. I am certainly not the kind of person to cheat at all. But it just hurts my head as to why this would be something that is on my mind

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sadly having the hots for her all this time makes it sound like your gf is merely cheap filler until your "best friend" and her bf break up. Speak up to who? Your gf or your best friend? Tell neither. Just break up with your gf and there's no point confessing your crush on this friend if she's in a relationship. People have opposite-sex friends, but shouldn't your "best friend" be your gf?
    Originally Posted by melcher390
    Im spoken for and so is my best friend. But over the years I've fallen in love with her. Even before me and my girlfriend got together.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Male/female close friendships often have to change/evolve/end when there is chemistry and lust, even if one-sided. Obviously, she doesn't see you as "the one" because she would've broken up with her bf to be with you. As for you, you're in an emotional affair, one-sided or not (you don't say how your best friend acts with you). You have crossed relationship boundaries, because if your gf knew what you were thinking about your "friend," she would dump you unless she has low self esteem and accepts a life of being a 3rd wheel.

    You won't like my advice and likely won't follow it, but here it is: If you ever want a serious gf, you will have to let this friendship fade and then totally end. Your friendship is preventing you from bonding properly with a new love interest. You have to treat people how you want to be treated. If you wouldn't want a gf to be hanging out with a friend she fantasizes about, then don't do that to any woman.

    I'd break up with your gf so she can find a guy who is crazy about her. I'd tell the friend that you won't be able to maintain the friendship because you've developed feelings for her and it's not right when she has a bf and it's preventing you from feeling what you should feel for an actual gf.

    Life is tough and sometimes you have to make hard decisions that are best for everyone.

  9. #8
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    Your BFF is the one who "got away." Yes, I know she's right there as your friend but you never fully explored the possibility that there could be more.

    If you can bury it & move on, telling yourself that if it had been meant to be it would have happened already then go ahead & carry on. If you would always regret that stop using your GF. End things with her & sit still until your BFF is free to date you. Do not confess to her. Do not push the issue. If she ever becomes single again or expresses dissatisfaction about her romance, you can float the idea to her: did you ever think about us?


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