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Thread: Someone please talk me down from the ledge.

  1. #1
    Member SixOfOne's Avatar
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    Someone please talk me down from the ledge.

    Fighting the urge to break NC. To recap, my gf broke up with me in June but wanted to remain friends. I said no but that only lasted a week, maybe. So we saw each other occasionally on a friendly basis for the next two months, but it was torture being with her as a Ďfriendí. So then one day she told me she was going to begin dating, and that seemed like the time to tell her I canít see her anymore. So I did.

    That was four and a half weeks ago, which I realize is less than a blink. Even so, I miss her so much I can hardly stand it.

    My thinking was that she broke up with me, so if anyone breaks NC it should be her. But sheís a real stickler for boundaries. Takes that very seriously. And I know her. She remembers that I said that it hurt me to see her and I canít be her friend. Sheís going to honor that boundary of mine forever, no matter what, unless and until I say otherwise. Thatís just how she is.

    So basically, sheís never (ever) going to contact me under these conditions Iíve set. And since Iím technically the one that initiated the most recent breaking of our friendship, maybe itís actually up to me to be the one to reach out first.

    Thatís how I rationalize things anyway. I actually know that this line of thinking is only a lame excuse to try to ease my desire to be part of her life again. I know that contacting her wonít accomplish a thing except maybe to earn a spot in the friend zone again. Been there, done that. SoÖ nope. But holy sh*t I miss her.

    So as I said, someone please talk me down.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Weekends are the toughest. Stay strong. Call a friend, go out, do anything, but distract, distract, distract.

  3. #3
    Member SixOfOne's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Weekends are the toughest. Stay strong. Call a friend, go out, do anything, but distract, distract, distract.
    Going to a street party tonight. That should help. Thanks.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Excellent. Chitchat with lots of pretty ladies there. Smile, flirt, have fun.
    Originally Posted by SixOfOne
    Going to a street party tonight. That should help. Thanks.

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  6. #5
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    What would you gain, other than pain? Are you ready to hear about her dates?

    If you had stayed NC after the break, you would have moved on further.

    You need to block and delete, and in time things will get better.

  7. #6
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    How long did you date?

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Why would you want to have anything to do with someone who has let you go? This is out of this world. Don't look back. Forwards, my friend.

  9. #8
    Member SixOfOne's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    How long did you date?
    Two and a half years.

  10. #9
    Member SixOfOne's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    Forwards, my friend.
    Yes indeed. Thank you.

  11. #10
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    Keeping busy and no contact is the only way to move on.


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