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Thread: friend turned out to be selfish

  1. #1
    Gold Member kathy679's Avatar
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    friend turned out to be selfish

    so 5 and a half weeks ago my friend reversed her car and swung it around and hit my parked car. she damaged the bumper and she smashed the washer housing. she said she would fix it so i didnt go through insurance.

    now 5 weeks later i told her i was getting impatient and i wanted the washer fixed as i can get points on my license for driving around with no washer if i have an accident. She told me to chill out and that im being OTT....this obviously wound me up. Anyway 2 days later she fixed my washer and now thats ok. but the bumper still needs fixing so i said id like it done in the next 2 weeks.

    i also said the bumper is mis aligned as well as dented. she then says its only a tiny chip, i already have scratches over the car. .....she then goes on to say im pregnant dont pressure me....i did wonder how long it would take her to play that card! and whats it got to do with my car i dont no?

    she then also says why are you pushing this your not being a good friend.

    she then says if it costs too much you will have to bring it to us and we will sort it out manually.....so what shes saying is if she cant afford it then i have to pay petrol and do the running around to accomadate her mistake...great

    i asked her for her insurance details and she refused

    she wants to get her own quotes to get it fixed but i asked a garage for a quote and they said they cant do that without seeing the car, so i dont know why she thinks she can get an accurate quote without it being seen properly?

    When i sent her pictures of my bumper again to show the misalignment she says the pictures are diffrent to hersthe damage was not there....well no ones hit my car since, and maybe her boyfriend taking the bumper off and not putting it on propely may of done something but unless i get it properly checked i wont know.

    she says shes updated me at every stage....this isnt true, looking back through my texts i messaged her 8 times over the 5 weeks, she never initiated a single text but replied to mine, so i had to do all of the chasing

    she has called me a liar as well when ive told her my bumper is not aligned

    anyway, any thoughts on how this can be resolved? i have no interest in being her friend now after this, shes shown her true colours.
    i want to get a proper quote by someone whos seen my car first hand, not some mickey mouse quote going from a photo shes shown them

    do you think shes being a good friend?

    any advise on whether they quoter should see the car before they make a quote?

    and any advise on how i can get her to pay for the damage.

    thanks

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Give all the info to your insurance and give them her name, address, age, make of her car, etc. The insurance company will track down her insurance and negotiate with them. If she persists with her obstinate attitude she could face hit-and-run charges. Do the right thing and contact your insurance. You could also file a police report. She's in the wrong all the way. You can't make good deals with bad people. Don't even try.
    Originally Posted by kathy679
    i asked her for her insurance details and she refused

  3. #3
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    No, she's not a good friend. She's trying to weasel out of taking responsibility and making things right. My guess is she was hoping you'd let it go. When you didn't, she tried to gaslight you into believing you were being unreasonable. It's been 5 weeks and you have to be the one to bring it up and when you do, she's insulting. Come on! That's not a good friend, that's not a friend at all.

    Let her go ahead and get the quote sight unseen. You might get lucky and it comes in at something you two can agree too. What do you have to lose other than more time. . and a friendship.

    Technically, the onus is on you to get multiple estimates and let her choose, but give her the benefit of the doubt. At least for now.

    If this continues, I'd let go of any idea of a friendship, I'd get my car fixed and take her to small claims court.

  4. #4
    Gold Member kathy679's Avatar
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    But wont giving her details to my insurance company make my insurance go up?

    Also i dont have any details for her apart from her name as she refuses to give me the details i need.......i dont even know her address as she lives on a canal boat at the moment and i would need to drive to her boat to get her number plate, as she lives a good hours drive from me. And thats even if her car is there, of course she wouldnt tell me that... can i not get my insurance to go through hers with just her number plate.

    Shes really shocked me i thought she would be more helpful than this it turns out all she cares about is saving herself some money and making excuses for her actions by making out im not being a good friend. Being patient for 5 weeks was more than being a good friend.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Just get your car fixed. Follow the instructions already suggested above. Forget keeping her around as a friend. I'm surprised you're worried about whether or not she's a good friend. Let that idea go. She's already showed you what she is as a person. Even if she can't afford to pay it right now, she should have worked out a payment plan over a span of x amount of time at the very least. Stop wasting your energies on the friendship and focus on driving safely and staying away from her when she drives.

  7. #6
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    I see this type of situation on Judge Judy all the time.

    Be smart, she is manipulating you on the basis of friendship?

    You're being played.

  8. #7
    Gold Member kathy679's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    No, she's not a good friend. She's trying to weasel out of taking responsibility and making things right. My guess is she was hoping you'd let it go. When you didn't, she tried to gaslight you into believing you were being unreasonable. It's been 5 weeks and you have to be the one to bring it up and when you do, she's insulting. Come on! That's not a good friend, that's not a friend at all.

    Let her go ahead and get the quote sight unseen. You might get lucky and it comes in at something you two can agree too. What do you have to lose other than more time. . and a friendship.

    Technically, the onus is on you to get multiple estimates and let her choose, but give her the benefit of the doubt. At least for now.

    If this continues, I'd let go of any idea of a friendship, I'd get my car fixed and take her to small claims court.
    I have no interest in being her friend after this, shes shown me that all she cares about is herself and saving a few pounds in the process. Shes selfish and shes accused me of lying and damaging the bumper myself to get out of paying for the damage she did

  9. #8
    Gold Member kathy679's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jimthzz
    I see this type of situation on Judge Judy all the time.

    Be smart, she is manipulating you on the basis of friendship?

    You're being played.
    There is no friendship anymore

  10. #9
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jimthzz
    I see this type of situation on Judge Judy all the time.

    Be smart, she is manipulating you on the basis of friendship?

    You're being played.
    good point.
    How would you handle this if she weren't your friend?

  11. #10
    Gold Member kathy679's Avatar
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    Technically, the onus is on you to get multiple estimates and let her choose, but give her the benefit of the doubt. At least for now.

    If this continues, I'd let go of any idea of a friendship, I'd get my car fixed and take her to small claims court.[/QUOTE]

    Worst case scenario, how do i go about taking her to a small claims court

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