They told me i needed to start journaling

And i really do because right now im so unstable. I didnt want to write again what happened, but here it goes:

Monday 27th she broke up with me. Said she didnt like me anymore. That she didnt want me in her life. And blocked me. Next monday i found out her son was diagnosed with leukemia. Its been very confusing, i feel sorry for them:(

And i know this is not healthy to think.. but i feel guilty of moving on right now. And i dont want to. I want her back.

I do feel bad about her son. That's not anything a child should have to go through.

However, I feel like you use this terrible news to justify her past actions. Someone who breaks up with you routinely... you understand that's not love, right?

I understand feelings are complicated. They're often not rational or logical, but what would you think about a good friend or family member in your shoes? Wouldn't you want them to have more self-respect than this? Wouldn't you want them to be with someone who genuinely loves them? Treats them right and cares for them?

I hope you continue journaling. I think you'll find it surprisingly helpful in seeing things with more clarity.