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Thread: Controlling bf

  1. #1

    Controlling bf

    So Iíve been with my bf for close to 2yrs now. At the beginning of the relationship (October2017) I was having trouble at home and the relationship was going so fast I think I missed all the red flags. Here where the problem started.
    1:The day before my 2018 bday a guy I use to talk send me a snap talk about food I respond and though nothing of it. I got home scrolling throwing me phone my bf saw the sap notification we had a huge fight I spend the whole night before my bday crying
    2: I went out with family for me bday he never showed up because of his anxiety.
    3: a year into our relationship he havenít met my family but heís constantly going through my phone and having me snap him to say where I am.
    4: after a year Iíve pretty much had it with his anxiety, him being controlling and everything else. One night I went out with my sister got drunk and text a ex of mine I was a wrong for doing that and i will admit it.
    5: months later my email my iCloud and my Facebook got hacked by my bf he found out about the message and we broke up.
    After we broke I moved out moved in with my mom and stewed they. He wouldnít stop calling ad text final went over heard we talk and go back together
    6:He finally decided to meet my family because of that
    7: now heís constantly checking my phone, checking me to see if Iíve shaved and smelling me when I get to his apartment.
    Months go by we argue almost ever week. I reach out to a friend of mine male asking for advice. *Here where I ed up I hide it* I just wanted to know from a guys point of view what to do and just someone I could talk and vent to. I was just a breath of fresh air outside my toxic relationship.
    8:he broke unto to my phone trying to tell me that I hide my friends because we are sleeping together remind you thatís when Iím not at school,my mother house Iím with him*my bf* he tracks my phone to see where I've parked so there no we I could have and I didn't want to.
    After we broke again I moved out moved in with my mom and stayed there. He wouldnít stop calling and text final went over heard we talk and go back together again. Remind you I've been living with him for most of the relationship and I still don't have keys to his apartment so if I leave I can't get back in and I have to wait for him to get home.
    A year later I'm still dealing with it and it's only getting worst. You can judge me on my bad choices because I know I've screwed up. I'm really looking for advice???

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Move back home.

  3. #3
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    You shouldn't have to look too hard for advice...

    I think anyone who reads your post will say: Leave him, go 100% no contact. Do not tell him where you are staying. File a retraining order if necessary.
    This guy is a pathetic codependent... he needs major help, or a kick in the a$$.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    It isn't your fault that your boyfriend is tracking your every move.

    You may have done some questionable things... that doesn't mean you have to put up with someone reading your messages, tracking your phone, questioning your friends, and berating you when he doesn't like what you do or say.

    Own your part and forgive yourself, work on the things within you that caused you to seek validation outside your relationship.

    As for your BF... he thinks what he is doing is totally justified so it's highly unlikely he will ever change. The only way it will stop is if you end the relationship.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I don't know what he is but it's not ok. Get away from him and mind yourself. This is a terrible place to be and you should never allow yourself to sink so low with such a person. Go back and go over all the things you want to accomplish in life and the plans you have for yourself. Start planning a better life. I think you've lost some serious direction. Review, reevaluate, cut out bad influences, reinforce better habits and cleanse yourself.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    You need to move on from this control freak. Block and delete him from your phone and social media, he truly sounds awful. You can also change your phone number. Do this now, you dont want to live like this any longer.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    You live with your mom currently? Does she know any of this? How old are you?
    Honestly, I'd be concerned for your safety. Your boyfriend is abusive.

  9. #8
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    What does your mom think of this insecure d-bag?

  10. #9
    Platinum Member happyfrank's Avatar
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    Move back home...

    Also be strong! He will tell you things to get you back..

    Actions speak louder than words. He doesn't love you. People who love you. Don't hurt you.

  11. #10
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    Please leave him and go no contact. Move back home and take time to heal from this relationship. You can do so much better than him.

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