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Thread: Arguments with wife

  1. #1
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    Arguments with wife

    My wife and I have been married over 3 years now. We have a beautiful girl who is 14 months. I’ve been down lately as I lost my mum 6 months ago. So a hormonal wife and a grieving husband. So we’ve been getting into petty arguments. But every time we argue My wife is asking ME to leave HER after every disagreement or says “we should go our separate ways”.. Why would she say this ?

    Our sex life is non existent since the baby. I took condoms on holiday recently and she said “no way” and told me to stay on the other side of the bed. Every time I touch her i get a “get off me”

    Any advice ? Is my marriage over ?

  2. #2
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    What are the arguments about?

  3. #3
    Maybe you both are going through rough spots. You are dealing with death and honestly need the support and love of your wife during this time.
    As for her maybe after the baby she is hormonal and could possibly have some kind of postpartum depression. I still feel like she should be more compassionate towards your situation. Has she always been this way or when did it start?

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    She think I give her dirty looks? How my family members have treating her..

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Besides rejecting sex, does she reject holding hands, a kiss, hugs? Do you both work? Does she feel the chores and child care duties are equally divided? If she brings up separating while arguing, tell her that really hurts your feelings because on your part, you want the relationship to last a lifetime and thought you two could always work on issues to come to a consensus.

    As for you, start asking your wife for what you want (besides sex for now), like: I'm really feeling down today about my mum's passing and could use a hug. And: I think a walk in the park today with you and the baby will lift my spirits.

    Don't initiate sex right now, but do try to retain or regain a physical connection. Give her a back or foot massage. Pick up some little treat for her at the store--candy she likes, or flowers, or a potted plant. Ask her what kind of help she needs in the day--a honey-do list. Ask her how she thinks your relationship could be improved. Caress her hair when you're sitting on the couch.

    See if making this sort of effort improves things between you over the next few months. If not, maybe couples counseling can help. Good luck.

  7. #6
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    Honestly I can’t even remember. When we were dating she was quite reserved. I didn’t put it down to her compassion, I thought it was just her; Didn’t want to get too involved etc.

    For example, this morning she told me to “get off her” when I she was getting changed for work I hugged her from behind. I just don’t get it

  8. #7
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    She doesn’t reject hugs when I am upset and thinking about my mum she does hug me- but that’s it. I could get that from a stranger in the park.

    Yes both work now, she’s gone back to work after maternity. Duties are divided (60/40) because I suggested we take turns sleeping in the spare room so we could both get a good nights sleep whilst baby is teething.

    I can give this a try though, thank you!

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Do you give her dirty looks? 🐷 Do you fight a lot? Is your family nasty to her?
    Originally Posted by SuperPig
    She think I give her dirty looks? How my family members have treating her..

  10. #9
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    I don’t think I do. I roll my eyes a lot...
    family nasty to her? Errrm depends who you ask, he’s become very sensitive of late

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok if you wish to save your marriage, you need to try to communicate in a marriage therapist's office. It's neutral, professional and a safe place to get all this pent up resentment and contempt out in the open. For example: Your wife and family do not get along. Does your wife work? Do you help out around the house?

    First of all, stop rolling your eyes at her. It's dismissive and contemptuous. It's not helping things, most of all, she's not going to get all sexy on you when you treat her like that. You are creating your own misery with your passive-aggressive attitudes.
    Originally Posted by SuperPig
    My wife and I have been married over 3 years now. we’ve been getting into petty arguments. Our sex life is non existent since the baby. Every time I touch her i get a “get off me”

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