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Thread: Thought my driving instructor liked me…

  1. #1
    Gold Member Cuppedia's Avatar
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    Thought my driving instructor liked me…

    Okay, so I’m not that young but decided to learn how to drive. I took 5 lessons and to my surprise the instructor was about the same age as me (all the others were 50+), so the first day we had the lesson and some regular chit chat, he asked about what I did and why I liked my career and stuff.
    Then, things seemed to go very well, on the 3rd day we began talking about the meaning of certain things in the world and what were his views on religion and things he wanted to do in life, he also seemed to ask rather personal things like why I had my hair short and if I didn’t like having it long… it just seemed like the kind of thing you ask to somebody you want to really get to know, or so I thought.
    He also seemed to be getting physically closer, maybe even rude at one point.

    Anyway, by that moment I sort of worried things had gotten out of hand so the next day I tried to distance myself, I was nervous, made lots of mistakes. At one point he asked me to stop because he was going to teach me how to park, but he began asking about a book I had and was it was about, when I avoided answering he proceeded with the lesson.
    The rest of the time he kept silent, and yawning.

    So, final day comes, I opened up more and so did he we were laughing and talking, then as I was supposed to give him a tip (money that is), I gave him an envelope along with a note saying it had been nice meeting him and that I was thankful that he was always so patient with me, he didn’t open it, but the real problem is, I was hoping he would ask for my number, it didn’t happen…
    As I was driving back towards the school he began humming “I wish I was special…” from that Radiohead song, mind you, english is not the main language in our country, but I didn’t say anything.

    So, What did I do wrong?, Did I imagine it?, Was it all in my head? I keep thinking maybe he is the same to all female students, or maybe I came off too strong?, or too cold?
    I have no experience with these things, I’ve only had on relationship and it was a LD one, and it ended almost 8 years ago.

    I’m so lost, and my heart is so broken… advice please?

  2. #2
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    I think that a man who is a teacher, or a doctor, or an attorney, or a waiter, is often kind and pleasant towards his students. But that doesn't mean he is interested in dating you. Sometimes, he might enjoy some light flirting because it distracts from the otherwise hum-drum parts of his job. I think he was just professional and was not interested beyond the professional relationship you two enjoyed. Hang in there!

  3. #3
    Gold Member Cuppedia's Avatar
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    I feel so dumb I wish I had realised it wasn't supposed to mean anything...

    Thank you Annie I'll be more careful next time.

  4. #4
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    eh, you never know. don't take it personally. maybe he has a gf he didn't mention?

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  6. #5
    Gold Member Cuppedia's Avatar
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    I don't know, when he said he was working hard on himself and improving as a person I asked if somebody was helping him and he said no, just books, conferences and such.
    So... I thought it could have been a good moment to bring it up, you know?

  7. #6
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    i think the "is someone helping you improve" sounds like you are asking if he has a professional mentor, not a gf. Of course, a romantic partner can help you improve, but personally, i think it sounds more like a professional question.

    anyway, don't beat yourself up. it's also possible he's gay (a lot of men are not obviously gay). or maybe he just likes women with long hair and you have short hair? don't beat yourself up!!

  8. #7
    Platinum Member sophie274's Avatar
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    I think he might have been flirting or interested. I mean, it's hard to say since we weren't there. It could go either way. But since he didn't ask you out, you can decide he is not interested and move on, or you can take a risk and ask him out, and see how things go from there. Though, if you are feeling heartbroken that he didn't ask for your number, then maybe you are a bit too fragile right now for dating, let alone asking someone out? It takes a thick skin.

  9. #8
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    Annie, Yes, actually I asked it in a professional sense, and I thought it was a good way to get info out without being blatantly obvious or something.

    And Sophie, you see, that's why I've only had one bf that I barely ever saw, because I'm waaaaay to fragile emotionally, but that doesn't seem to stop guys from flirting with me. Just last month a classmate seemed so into me, but he never said anything to my face, when I didn't seem to act as passionately as he wanted to he posted on FB that he had been ignored by a girl he really liked, and I was like "?!?!".
    I know I'm always going to be single and that's fine, but when I meet people that I can talk to about everything and can sort of feel a connection is just so... confusing.

  10. #9
    Gold Member Snow Bird's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sophie274
    I think he might have been flirting or interested. I mean, it's hard to say since we weren't there. It could go either way. But since he didn't ask you out, you can decide he is not interested and move on, or you can take a risk and ask him out, and see how things go from there. Though, if you are feeling heartbroken that he didn't ask for your number, then maybe you are a bit too fragile right now for dating, let alone asking someone out? It takes a thick skin.
    ^^^^^^ exactly what she said.

  11. #10
    I recently join Driving lessons in Harrow and their is too much fun and learning too. No doubt, this is a great opportunity for newbies to learn driving skills from professional institutes.But I want to get experience for both Light weight Vehicle as well as for Heavy Weight Vehicle.The problem I am facing is that I am only asked to get practice on LWV by my instructor.How I should resolve this problem, any suggestions?

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