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Thread: Can we get back together at our age

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Sorry - I mistook his age. I don't think you're using him as bait. I do think you're not doing much for yourself by way of moving forward and healing from the break up. The choices are really up to you. At the end of the day you're the one who has to answer to yourself and live your own reality. If you are ok or can make peace with your choices and where life has brought you, then no one else's opinion matters.

    I'm not sure you're understanding that the relationship was unhealthy to begin with and you're trying to grab at straws. Sorry to say that.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    How long were your divorces finalized before you started seeing one another?

    How long were you dating before moving in together?

    Two rebounders moving in together so quickly was a frying pan to fire move, and it's not likely to be workable for quite a long time. I'd back off. Read my sig.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    He's not your son and you do in fact want to draw this man back into your house/life, even though it's not what he wants. You can't unilaterally rekindle anything. It takes two.
    Originally Posted by Ecajan1973
    What if I was his sons actual mother and was asking for advice on rekindling relationship

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    He's not your son and you do in fact want to draw this man back into your house/life, even though it's not what he wants. You can't unilaterally rekindle anything. It takes two.

    I would never take this man back!! Ever!! Knowing the things I know about what he has done is disgusting
    I would never trust him again!!!! And I have more self respect than that.. yes I loved him and deep down I still do but he has hurt me way too much too ever bring him back into my life..

    He came and got the rest of his stuff today and not once knocked on door to see his son and he knew I wasnít home and his son was

    He makes no effort to contact him

    But what can I do about a 19 year old kid that refuses to live with his father at this time and has no one else to turn too

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. He sounds like a snake. What options does the son have as far as housing? Are you comfortable with the son there?
    Originally Posted by Ecajan1973
    He came and got the rest of his stuff today and not once knocked on door to see his son and he knew I wasnít home and his son was. He makes no effort to contact him.

  7. #26
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    We knew each other for seven years before we started dating..we liked each other for long time but never acted on it due to he was married and I was in a relationship.. about 7 months after his divorce and my break up we started dating and moved in together a year later.. not sure rebound cuz we cared for each other for so long before we got together but definitely think we moved in together way too soon
    But still does not excuse his cheating while we were still together
    But I own fault cuz he has a history of cheating on his ex wife

  8. #27
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    I donít mind it at all
    Heís a real good kid
    If he had other options he would but he asked me if he could stay with me and I just donít have heart to say no but I do tell him all the time he might forgive his father and eventually move in with him

    But I just donít have heart to tell him he had to leave

    I hope if roles were reversed, person wouldnít to that to one of my own kids

  9. #28
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    I hear everyone say that he is in a rebound relationship and he will come crawling back(even now) exspecially how he was acting towards me the last couple weeks and I was praying it was true

    UNTIL I found out he was cheating on me while we were still together and moved in with her in less than a month

    He was in bed with me and her.... thatís disgusting and I could never take him back after knowing this..Iím way better and worth more than that

    I donít see them lasting much longer and I definitely wont be here to catch him when he falls

    Karma can do her work and obviously already is if he was already trying to keep me as a back up


    No way would I ever!!! Once a cheat, always a cheat!!!

  10. #29
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    That's the spirit!!!!

    DO NOT let him get to you, because he WILL try!

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by Ecajan1973
    His son is 19 and has autism and other issues.. he does not want to live with his father and wants to stay with me. He has no one else to go to and no matter what is going on with his father and myself. I canít kick him out

    Iím definitely gonna start thinking of myself starting today.. Iím no longer gonna contact him and keep work at professional level

    I have to start thinking of myself and my happiness regardless if heís in my life or not

    Iíll never give up hope but I definitely need to let go
    Do you have legal guardianship of him?

    Though he is 19, because he is autistic, I assume that you are needing to provide for him. His parents should be involved in helping to support him and also getting him any kind of therapy he needs. its common for an autistic offspring to decide one parent is the villain or party pooper and that could be dad for him. Honestly, he needs to be with his mother if he doesn't want his father and they need to be financially supporting him. its not fair for you to have to. I get you didn't want him homeless, but you are going to end up with him for the rest of his life if you don't transition him. Have a discussion with his parents - mom and dad about a solution

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