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Thread: Blocked on everything Is it immature move or no?

  1. #1
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    Blocked on everything Is it immature move or no?

    Just a disclaimer this was my first relationship, and I was new to dating and I am 21 years old and she was 2 years older than me. The very first night she came over to my apartment she started comparing me to her ex-boyfriend saying I was nicer than him. I cooked us both dinner. When it was time for me to go to bed she made an excuse to stay the night and we hooked up. I was kind of pulling back kissing her, but we ended up falling asleep. When morning came when I asked if she got home ok she left via text and him texts back saying that I needed to tell her if I liked her or not. I got really uncomfortable and asked if we could talk in person about things. She demanded that I told her right this instant and i became pressured and kind of scared so I said something like "I'm not sure if I'm ready for a serious relationship". I called her over the phone and she began crying saying that "who says that" and made me feel guilty. I felt really guilty from her screaming at me and just told her to take it slow cause I felt uncomfortable with her moving so fast and talking about the ex.

    She showed me so much affection. Constantly kissing me, and what not suggesting we did all these activities and visiting her family. She would share a lot of personal details about herself. She had some red flags, for starters I wasn't allowed to talk about other friends that were girls. She accused me of cheating on her or talking to other girls and I had to show her my social media and scroll and prove I wasn't. She could do numerous things, but I wasn't allowed forex. She was allowed to talk about other guys but not me with girls. She wouldn't let me leave her apartment some nights saying stuff like if I liked her I would stay. She threw so many fits when she wouldn't get her way, and demanded I was always around. She yelled at me quite frequently and when I told her not too firmly saying that I don't like it many times, she would either not listen, or apologize and continue to do it the next day. She talked about her exes and other guys she was with talking about them and bad-mouthing them all. There were times when I tried to confront her about these and tell her I don't like them, but she would make me feel like I am being unreasonable and insecure. Eventually, I just stopped confronting about her, because I thought I was being ridiculous or I felt like it was something stupid to be annoyed about. She had very unpredictable reactions and would tell me one thing when she meant another. She was very passive-aggressive about a lot of things but expected me to communicate. Whenever I would communicate something I didn't like doing it would turn into a fight, because she would take it too personally. I eventually didn't bother. She had an excuse for everything and sometimes obvious white lies that I let slide because I knew to call her out on it was going to go nowhere. With her, I felt none of my opinions and feelings mattered. Important too, I wasn't allowed to assume things at all and had to ask.

    Well after her going distant for 2 weeks kind of started to bother me, I asked her to pick me up. The last times we were together at her house before this she had me doing her chores saying that "before we cuddle I need you to do this". I asked her if we were still a thing and I told her I felt like she was pushing me away and not really into me and that she is just using me. She denies everything saying she's not and I started to give the example she screams cutting me off that she doesn't want to do "this" right now because she is going through some stuff because a friend of hers died. I kind of felt like she was using this as an excuse to end the relationship I offer my support saying id be there for her, but she says she wants to be alone but then she says she wanted to hang out in the library(we were in college). The next day she hits my phone up asking for help with homework and I am already really annoyed because I just swore I got done telling her about this. I help her because she was saying things like "trying to be ok" and felt kind of bad for her. I assumed she might want to hang out in the library because she said she did. I asked her to come to the library normally the times in between classes when we normally would, and she would always give excuses like "I'm tired and etc." by the end of the week I asked her if she's over me or not like being around me. She denies it and says that we could hang out next weekend. I asked if she's sure and she says yes in an annoyed voice. I immediately give her a week of space and come back hoping she would be better but she is still acting like I am bothering her. I start to get mad and try to push for answers but she goes silent. Then asks if she wants to be alone she says she had been wanting to be alone, she wasn't very clear to me and still gave me mixed signals but she did say it so I took the blame for it and apologized. 6 days later I saw her on campus and tried to make sure everything was ok with her. She gives me more mixed signals and I try to walk away but requests that I walk with her asking what I'm doing later in the day. After our convoy, she says text me after class. Needless to say I did and still, she gave so many excuses not to get together. I sounded so desperately trying to hang out with her but I stated that she told me to text her and would appreciate it if she would stop playing these games. She went silent and I said I was sorry If I wasn't leaving her alone when she wanted to be alone grieving for her loss.

    Days later after this, I saw she was hanging out with her friends so I was guessing she was ok. I hit her up but she flat out ghosted me that day. The next day she started sending me social media chats, I tried to ignore it but I couldn't help myself. Days later I sent her a text asking if we could talk about something. She is still ignoring me and I get mad and blow her phone up (bad I know). She responds finally with she wasn't on her phone and was with her friends. I just reply with a "whatever" and ignore the rest and obvious lie. If she wanted to be alone but is with her friends I got insecure because I suspected it was me. The best thing I tried to do was to distance myself from her because she was making me very mad. I stuck around cause I kind of felt stuck in this relationship because I saw what happens when she doesn't get her way and she throws a big tantrum or fit and cries to her friends. I tried my best not to end up on the terrible ex list of hers but it was too late I guess.

    Well a month later after 0 contacts I'm with mutual friends as well as a couple of mine and I start telling them what she did to me. I asked them what her deal really is and, her friends say that they think she is secretly psycho/crazy and doesn't really associate with her. Me still being mad about it repeats and agrees that she is crazy. Well, this was a big mistake because of a week later when we were out one night at the bar she comes up to me screaming and crying intoxicated and on pills saying that I called her crazy. I was denying it, but she wasn't listening and said she lost respect for me because I didn't insult her to her face (she would say f you and call me an A-hole frequently). I told her I was trying to support her, and she didnít want me to because she barely knows me. She was apparently ignoring me because I wasn't giving her space. I told her I sincerely thought it was over because she ghosted me for a month and by her actions, she wanted nothing to do with me. She responds with saying she never said that and told me "you know I hate when you assume" stating she said she was going to text me back when she was ready. She then yells at me for going up to another girl and then dumps me running to her friends crying and trying to get her friends to beat me up, accusing me of doing stuff I didn't do. One of her friends came up to me saying he didn't blame me for calling her crazy and he thinks the same thing secretly. Everyone that was friends with her says that it's fine as she is really intoxicated and won't remember anything. After all of this, I apologized for not giving her space and said I should have backed off and told her she is not crazy. I called her out saying she needs to stop playing the victim and I would appreciate it if she takes responsibility for her wrongdoings. She tells me after my apology to move forward interrupting me yet again.

    After a month she deleted me off social media. I felt horrible after all of this, but I decided to respond by blocking her on everything. I feel so much better that she is blocked. I felt like she was using me the whole relationship even though it was a very short 4 months. that whole thing at the bar was probably just an act to get her way. My questions are what did I do wrong? it fair that I had to communicate everything but she didn't. She could act really clingy to me, but if I exhibit that behavior its all of a sudden its bad, is it fair? people say its immature to block someone if they aren't harrassing you and that its not necessary. Truth is I feel better having her blocked, I dont want to leave the door open for someone like this. I just dont want to see or speak to her ever again and don't want her popping back up in my life again. I felt somewhat better having her blocked on everything, but maybe i am taking it too far.

  2. #2
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    She had a sht ton of issues, was abusive, emotionally immature as hell and was NOT over her ex. Omg talk about being a total nutcase (!!!!)


    Stay away from her. For good!

  3. #3
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    She is a nutcase.

    I know that you are young, but you knew that this not normal behavior. You should have been done after the first date.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Did you seriously discuss her with mutual friends and call her psycho and crazy and now youíre on the internet trying to get strangers to call her crazy as well?

    So serious question - what will be enough? What will leave you satisfied?

    Do you not trust your own judgement? I get youíre young but do you truly need this much validation before leaving a relationship? Again serious question. Is this your norm? Do you fear it could be? You recognize itís not normal to bash exes to this degree right?

    And letís be honest, Iím quite familiar with pettiness, she threw the first blow unfriending you so you blocking her wasnít a step in a healthy direction, it was retaliation, now without the drama all youíre left with are your thoughts...

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  6. #5
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    Why did you stay despite so many red flags? You had to know this was not typical or the sign of good things to come. No, a lot of what you describe isn't "fair", but welcome to life, man. You're going to run into plenty of people who don't give a fig if they are being fair or not. When you have the feeling you are not being treated fairly or with respect, you need to leave. Getting others to agree it was unfair isn't really helpful; it is up to you to vote with your feet rather than solicit support for your point of view.

    Keep her blocked, for good. Examine your own unhealthy view of relationships; you need to get to the bottom of why you tolerate this. It will help you steer clear of toxic situations like this in the future.

  7. #6
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    Focus on what is wrong with YOU! You seem to be attracted to a lot of drama and dysfunction. Stop playing the victim, you voluntarily stuck around for it all.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Did you seriously discuss her with mutual friends and call her psycho and crazy and now youíre on the internet trying to get strangers to call her crazy as well?

    So serious question - what will be enough? What will leave you satisfied?

    Do you not trust your own judgement? I get youíre young but do you truly need this much validation before leaving a relationship? Again serious question. Is this your norm? Do you fear it could be? You recognize itís not normal to bash exes to this degree right?

    And letís be honest, Iím quite familiar with pettiness, she threw the first blow unfriending you so you blocking her wasnít a step in a healthy direction, it was retaliation, now without the drama all youíre left with are your thoughts...
    This right here.

    What's your agenda? To get as many people to put her down as possible? You're a grown man, you can figure out your own opinions. You don't need to get a whole crowd of people calling her down.

    I also wonder how bad you were? You said she didn't rely to you, so you then went and blew up her phone. Maybe you've got more of a drama streak than you care to admit.

    Then you block her back, erm?? You're already blocked, so what's the point? I agree, it seems incredibly petty.

    This relationship didn't work out for you, so leave it and move on. Nothing more to talk about.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Be glad she's gone. It was most likely quite an adventure for you but this stuff gets very taxing very fast.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    This right here.

    What's your agenda? To get as many people to put her down as possible? You're a grown man, you can figure out your own opinions. You don't need to get a whole crowd of people calling her down.

    I also wonder how bad you were? You said she didn't rely to you, so you then went and blew up her phone. Maybe you've got more of a drama streak than you care to admit.

    Then you block her back, erm?? You're already blocked, so what's the point? I agree, it seems incredibly petty.

    This relationship didn't work out for you, so leave it and move on. Nothing more to talk about.
    I mean the point telling this was to ask if it was really petty and immature to block her in this situation. She was guilty of the same thing(telling her friends to be on her side, I pretty much had enough)

    How bad was I? I mean I gave as much detail as possible without making it too long. I literally just admitted that was not good of me to do and now you're just highlighting one bad thing I did. I even admitted it to myself as well as apologizing to her about my behavior. So please tell me how I have more of a drama streak than I care to admit, I am admitting to my mistakes I always did. There were times when I made mistakes and said I was sorry. I am trying really hard to remember and I am just having a hard time. So I have to disagree with you on this.

    I mean like It's just bothering me if it seems petty so I was just getting people's opinions. Truthfully I am not sure if I made the right decision. I am gonna be completely honest with you I found myself keep going back and checking up on the social media. I literally said in this paragraph I felt instantly more better having her blocked so I am going to repeat it again I don't want someone like this able to pop in and out of my life. I felt like I would have gone into stalker mode If I hadn't but maybe theres another way without blocking? I really dont think you know the difference between unfriend and block btw I never said she blocked me.

  11. #10
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    Just really having a hard time moving on.

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