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Thread: Irritated a guy who blew me off rudely is doing well. Any advice to get over it?

  1. #1
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    Irritated a guy who blew me off rudely is doing well. Any advice to get over it?

    Had been dating a guy for about 6 weeks. Our last scheduled date which was for a Friday night he ended up bailing on me last minute as he was asked last minute to teach class at our fitness studio he had just started at. He asked if I could reschedule for the Saturday as he wanted to go into work after and finish something as he was planning on staying a little longer and wouldn’t be now that he was teaching class. I said I had plans Sat but we could touch base and see. He said thanks for understanding about the class and that he would shot me a text. The next morning he messages me that his class went well, he finished up at work and went out with some other instructors afterwards for drinks and to let me know when I was done today and we could try to meet up as he wanted to make up for yesterday. I was really irritated because if he had free time after work, we were supposed to have plans but I let it slide and told him around 1pm I would be done at 6. He responded at 5:30pm that he had a family bday at 7pm so unfortunately it wasn’t enough time. I was so irritated that he waited until the last minute to relay that information as well as now he had wasted 2 of my prime weekend nights. So disrespectful. I responded to the question he asked me and also said “ have a good weekend!” not making an effort to keep the conversation going as I thought he had really been rude over the past 2 days. He did responded right away saying sorry and some BS about “ I hate not following through on plans. I hope you have a good weekend as well” . If you hate not following through on plans then follow through on them… again so disrespectful and have heard nothing since so im assuming that was his way of blowing me off without having to have a conversation. Anyway. This guy had recently become an instructor at our gym which he had been training for throughout or 6 weeks of dating. It was something he had always been talking about in texts and in person and I was always trying to be very supportive, encouraging etc. As im signing up for my weekly classes seeing his name on the schedule im instantly in a bad mood and feeling a little bitter that it seems to be going well for him. I know this was less than a week ago so feeling are still fresh but it makes me less enthused to continue going to a gym that I love now knowing that he’s there teaching which also makes me upset since I love that gym! He was so disrespectful of my time and quite rude I thin in our last interaction and after 6 weeks if he just wasn’t interested he would have just been upfront isn’t of making false promises and pretending to be sincere about his intentions when he wasn’t. has anyone gone through anything similar and has any advice! I know ill probably be over it in a few weeks but right now im feeling so disrespected by how he acted and pretty irritated by the fact that he seems to be doing great.. Thanks all!

  2. #2
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    Let it go already. You dated for 6 weeks. In a very short period you learned he was flaky. Better you only wasted 6 weeks not 6 months. Just ignore him at the gym. Stop giving him all this power.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. The real issue is not respecting your plans and not keeping his word/having integrity. Good you dumped him. Just enjoy your life and forget jerks like this. Go to the gym with friends and simply ignore him or sign up for times/classes he's not involved in.
    Originally Posted by Taralynnski
    I was really irritated because if he had free time after work, we were supposed to have plans but I let it slide and told him around 1pm I would be done at 6. He responded at 5:30pm that he had a family bday at 7pm

    This guy had recently become an instructor at our gym which he had been training for throughout or 6 weeks of dating.

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    The two are unrelated. He acted in a flaky way to you and he now is going to get to teach a class. I get that if there was a link - like he’d mistreated you as a student in the class and then was allowed to teach a class that would seem unfair but for all we know he is an excellent instructor who also is flaky sometimes when it comes to plans.
    Feel what you feel and maybe choose to react by self talking and realizing that your bruised ego and annoyance doesn’t have to have you focusing on negative energy. It will sap your energy for other things. Maybe don’t take his class but no reason you can’t go to his gym.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Taralynnski
    The next morning he messages me that his class went well, he finished up at work and went out with some other instructors afterwards for drinks and to let me know when I was done today and we could try to meet up as he wanted to make up for yesterday. I was really irritated because if he had free time after work, we were supposed to have plans but I let it slide and told him around 1pm I would be done at 6. He responded at 5:30pm that he had a family bday at 7pm so unfortunately it wasn’t enough time. I was so irritated that he waited until the last minute to relay that information
    I get your frustration - but at the same time you waited several hours to respond to him after he text you first thing in the morning. With that you gave him short notice and he already made other plans.

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    I'd let it go, try spending more time with your friends, and don't pay attention to him at the gym. He's flaky, not worth your time.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member happyfrank's Avatar
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    Patience is a virtue!

    He went out to drink with co-workers. It happens especially if he is new.

    The reply If you hate not following through on plans then follow through on them. It was a family members birthday =(

    He seems like he was trying and liked you.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member indea08's Avatar
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    I think you’re way overreacting. People aren’t always going to act the way you want them to. And you aren’t always going to do everything perfectly either. Try giving people a little something called the benefit of the doubt. He kept you informed when he could, it was just a busy time for him. Annoying, sure, but not something to get bent out of shape about.

    My husband blew me off for the first two dates we had planned. He begged for a third chance, and we’ve been very happy together ever since. Had I been as uptight as you, I wouldn’t have the amazing, loving family I have now. That would be such a HUGE loss for me.

    Life throws a lot of hard curve balls. There is absolutely no sense in making mountains out of molehills.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by Taralynnski
    Had been dating a guy for about 6 weeks. Our last scheduled date which was for a Friday night he ended up bailing on me last minute as he was asked last minute to teach class at our fitness studio he had just started at. He asked if I could reschedule for the Saturday as he wanted to go into work after and finish something as he was planning on staying a little longer and wouldn’t be now that he was teaching class. I said I had plans Sat but we could touch base and see. He said thanks for understanding about the class and that he would shot me a text. The next morning he messages me that his class went well, he finished up at work and went out with some other instructors afterwards for drinks and to let me know when I was done today and we could try to meet up as he wanted to make up for yesterday. I was really irritated because if he had free time after work, we were supposed to have plans but I let it slide and told him around 1pm I would be done at 6. He responded at 5:30pm that he had a family bday at 7pm so unfortunately it wasn’t enough time. I was so irritated that he waited until the last minute to relay that information as well as now he had wasted 2 of my prime weekend nights. So disrespectful. I responded to the question he asked me and also said “ have a good weekend!” not making an effort to keep the conversation going as I thought he had really been rude over the past 2 days. He did responded right away saying sorry and some BS about “ I hate not following through on plans. I hope you have a good weekend as well” . If you hate not following through on plans then follow through on them… again so disrespectful and have heard nothing since so im assuming that was his way of blowing me off without having to have a conversation. Anyway. This guy had recently become an instructor at our gym which he had been training for throughout or 6 weeks of dating. It was something he had always been talking about in texts and in person and I was always trying to be very supportive, encouraging etc. As im signing up for my weekly classes seeing his name on the schedule im instantly in a bad mood and feeling a little bitter that it seems to be going well for him. I know this was less than a week ago so feeling are still fresh but it makes me less enthused to continue going to a gym that I love now knowing that he’s there teaching which also makes me upset since I love that gym! He was so disrespectful of my time and quite rude I thin in our last interaction and after 6 weeks if he just wasn’t interested he would have just been upfront isn’t of making false promises and pretending to be sincere about his intentions when he wasn’t. has anyone gone through anything similar and has any advice! I know ill probably be over it in a few weeks but right now im feeling so disrespected by how he acted and pretty irritated by the fact that he seems to be doing great.. Thanks all!
    Honestly, you guys only dated 6 weeks, not a long time and you weren't even bf/gf, so he really didn't/doesn't owe you any sort of accountability. You seem pretty self-involved ("so disprespectful," "I...I....I..., etc..." and he probably saw that and doesn't want to deal. Just out of curiosity, how old are you?

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Taralynnski
    As im signing up for my weekly classes seeing his name on the schedule im instantly in a bad mood and feeling a little bitter that it seems to be going well for him.
    It's irritating, but being angry about it is just going to ruin your day and serve no other purpose. It sure as hell isn't going to make him feel bad about blowing you off!

    Might as well stop with that and get on with enjoying your own life. Just be glad you found out about his flakiness early!

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