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Thread: Are We Just Friends Or More?

  1. #1

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    Are We Just Friends Or More?

    I dated this girl from March-June. It was great. Got along really well. Had good sex. Things overall were good until we broke up and she said it was because she couldnít stop crying over a serious ex and didnít want to get involved in another relationship. Said she hasnít felt the same way about anyone sheís dated since him. She said she would love to still have me in her life though. I asked if she just liked me as a friend and she said ďNo. I have sex with you. I obviously feel differently about you than my guy friends.Ē

    So we kept texting as friends for a bit but didnít hang. Eventually we ran into each other at a bar and got in a fight because I found out she hooked up with another guy shortly after me. I overreacted but I was drunk and not over things. The next day we argued some more and I told her that we should take time off from talking and trying to be friends.

    10 days later, she started talking to me again. Some texts and snaps. I responded but was being a little cold. After a couple weeks she asked to hang out and we did. And weíve continued to hang out over the past two months, probably about a dozen times. We go to dinner, the movies, drinks, etc. Always just us two. Almost always initiated by her. She always asks what Iím doing and even nights we donít hang, we talk about it but it doesn't end up workign out. She always sends me places and says ďwe should go here.Ē She spends more time with me than anyone else. And we get along really well when hanging out just like when we were dating.

    The thing is we havenít hooked up again. But she has slept over in my bed 4 times. I havenít made a move because it never felt like the right time. But she will lay on me and weíll cuddle. Just havenít had the right moment to kiss her.

    The problem is she will sometimes say things about us being friends. If we argue sheíll say ďyouíre not my friend anymoreĒ or she recently said I was one of her closest friends. I know itís very possible that she means what she says and that Iím friendzoned. Sheís still said things that suggest she doesnít want a relationship with anyone right now.

    But thereís just SO many signs that she likes me as more than a friend. Sheíll sound a little jealous if I mention other girls. She texts me all the time with random stuff in her life. Excited to tell me good news and comes to me with bad news. She always wants to hang out and as I said, sheís sleeping in my bed at times. Also, we were a thing for a few months so I know she was sexually attracted to me at some point. Not like we've always been "just friends."

    So she texts me all the time, always wants to hang out, has fun hanging out, sometimes sleeps in my bed and cuddles with me, sometimes sounds a little jealous at the mention of other girls, yet still calls me her friend. How is this possible?

    Itís just so confusing. Do you guys think Iím friendzoned? Does she want more but is afraid to commit? What do I do?
    Last edited by lifewtr; 09-30-2019 at 11:32 PM.

  2. #2
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    She's using you, you're wasting your time being caught up in this. Block her.

  3. #3
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    She's still not over her ex but is using you to plug the void. You're her filler until she is truly ready to date again.

    I'm sorry OP, but you are likely to be left in the dust when that happens.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately, she's not over her last relationship and is hooking uo with others. Did you ever have the exclusive talk when you were dating those 16 weeks?

    Ok this is worse than the friendzone, it's the nowherezone. You're not friends, you're not fwb, you're not dating.

    You just hang out and keep her warm while she has sex with others and is on/off with her bf. Let her go. She's not worth the headache.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I'm sorry you're going through this. It does sound confusing. Either enjoy it for what it is or limit your contact with her. She's not completely emotionally available and I think you know that. Don't lie to yourself or have unrealistic expectations and definitely don't get upset with her or yourself if things are not panning out as you'd hoped. She's just not as emotionally available as you or doesn't reciprocate the level of emotions that you do.

    Try and respect her limitations. Respect yourself enough too to limit this or walk away if it's not working for you.

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by lifewtr
    The thing is we havenít hooked up again. But she has slept over in my bed 4 times. I havenít made a move because it never felt like the right time. But she will lay on me and weíll cuddle. Just havenít had the right moment to kiss her.
    You're in bed with her. Cuddling. And you're waiting for the "right moment?" Did I miss something? How old are you? For my generation (Gen X), cuddling in bed with a girl was a clear sign she was interested and wanted to do something.

    Originally Posted by lifewtr
    Itís just so confusing. Do you guys think Iím friendzoned? Does she want more but is afraid to commit? What do I do?
    Yes, because you're not assertive enough to make a move.


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