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Thread: Narcissist or normal?

  1. #21

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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    Ya think you are being just a tiny bit naive and completely desperate, stage 5 clinger? I mean if I told you that I have ocean front property in Arizona for sale, would you believe me too? Come on, lady, wake up. You cannot be this foolish, but you are this desperate....or just trolling....I don't even know to be honest. Your attitude is too absurd.

    Dude dumps you, but since you don't believe it's for the right reasons, you go get him back.....and you are accusing him of being narcissistic? You might want to take a real good long look at yourself first. You've got some serious issues. Sorry for being blunt, but you need to hear it.
    No I donít think itís the right reasons as heís done it before and says things in anger. Heís done it in past relationships and with family. So Iím not being b a clinger. weíve had amazing times and he An be lovely.
    Sorry but Iím no narcissist! I communicate, I have empathy, i accept blame and am prepared to change! I donít speak down to people like you do.

  2. #22

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    Originally Posted by maew
    Did he speak of having kids with you specifically? Marrying you, specifically? Or just in general that he wants to get married and have more kids one day... and you took that to mean he wants them with you?

    Iím sorry but so far I am not getting how you are the love of his life when he keeps trying to break up with you...based on what you described it seems like the only reason you guys are even together is because you beg and plead until he feels bad and takes you back.
    Lol no actually he stays he wanted kids and marriage with me!

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by Stargazed
    Lol no actually he stays he wanted kids and marriage with me!
    But he also breaks up with you frequently.

    Are you asking for advice on how to get him back? Because if so, you already know...beg, plead, accept all the blame and apologize. Do the same thing the next time too.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Don't bother with complex diagnoses when it's simply incompatibility. Also you seem to have a lot rages about his family, work and child,
    alternating with acting like a doormat. Neither of those are good and luckily it's only been 36 weeks that you've wasted on this toxic dynamic.

    Go no contact for good. Delete and block him and leave him alone. Stop chasing him. Skip the on/off nonsense and date men you are more compatible with. Therapy could help you stabilize your emotions, improve your self-esteem and help you explore why you put yourself in this toxic dynamic.
    Originally Posted by Stargazed
    By ignoring me. Dumping me. Insisting itís over. Blocking me. Until I beg and apologise even though itís nothing major. He eventually takes me back. He refuses to face me and talk.

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  6. #25

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Sorry to hear this. Don't bother with complex diagnoses when it's simply incompatibility. Also you seem to have a lot rages about his family, work and child,
    alternating with acting like a doormat. Neither of those are good and luckily it's only been 36 weeks that you've wasted on this toxic dynamic.

    Go no contact for good. Delete and block him and leave him alone. Stop chasing him. Skip the on/off nonsense and date men you are more compatible with. Therapy could help you stabilize your emotions, improve your self-esteem and help you explore why you put yourself in this toxic dynamic.
    Not sure where you get that I have rages about his family, work and child? I love and get on very well with both his family and child! His family have actually helped me through this. Stablise my emotions? what being upset because i've lost a man I love. Thats called normal!

  7. #26

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    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    Yes heís a narcissist...

    Ok now what?

    Serious question.

    Even if we had the capability of diagnosing someone based on a few paragraphs, what would that do?

    You still want him back right?

    Is that not the real issue?
    why is it an issue to want to mke something work with someone you love?? people walk away from love far too easily...that its whats wrong with the world. people are too harsh and unforgivng.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by Stargazed
    why is it an issue to want to mke something work with someone you love?? people walk away from love far too easily...that its whats wrong with the world. people are too harsh and unforgivng.
    You're wanting to make something work with someone who's made it very clear that he doesn't want to see you again. In your original post, you state that it's now into the 5th week and he is still refusing to speak to you or have any contact. Even if this has been his usual modus operandi in the past, not responding to you for this length of time tells you everything you need to know.

    Unfortunately, while it takes two people to participate in a relationship, it only takes one to end it. To you, it might have been love, but for him it clearly wasn't, and you are causing yourself a great deal of pain by refusing to accept that. Indeed, you're trying to pin a diagnosis on him with no clinical basis, so you can feel sorry for him as a means of 'justifying' your continued pursuit of him.

    Please be kind to yourself. Accept that it's over and really let yourself grieve for your lost relationship and your lost hope - then move on.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    And yet you call him "a narcissist and is he suffering depression? Anger issues?" So why do you want so badly to be with him?
    Originally Posted by Stargazed
    Stablise my emotions? what being upset because i've lost a man I love.

  10. #29
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    You are not going to have a happy life with this man. Even if he returned, you will forever experience the drama and emotional turmoil of the last 9 months, before he discards you completely.

    He says he loved you, wanted marriage and kids - so what? Where is he now?

    You are attaching too much meaning to empty words that are not supported by actions. He knows how to tell you what you want to hear, so you keep compromising your own dignity and self-worth and begging for him to come back. It's part of how he maintains his power and control over you. Your mistake was believing his words to be gospel truth and appearing to overlook the fact that he regularly breaks up with you. It's now been 5 weeks, so I am assuming he's met some other woman to toy with in the meantime.

    Whether or not he's a narcissist in the clinical sense doesn't change the situation for you. He is still someone who has shown you time and again he's not capable of maintaining a relationship with you. Getting a diagnosis for him will simply give you an excuse to keep forgiving his terrible behaviour, pinning it on a disorder. It also surely will soothe your insecurity, as it's currently incomprehensible to you that really might not want to to continue dating you. Blaming it on a personality disorder at least gives you a more tangible "reason" why this relationship went so far off the rails.

    Instead of focusing on why he is the way he is, ask yourself why you are the way you are. Where did you get this unhealthy view of love? What was your own relationship history and childhood like, that led you to stay in something so utterly dysfunctional? You can't change him, but you can change yourself.

  11. 10-01-2019, 02:32 PM

  12. 10-01-2019, 02:32 PM

  13. 10-01-2019, 02:34 PM

  14. 10-01-2019, 03:22 PM
    Reason
    Reference to deleted posts.

  15. #30
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    You do know (since you most certainly read the forum rules before posting) that you are not allowed to use profanity, no matter how many times you repost it.
    Ohhhh... now I get it! She used the "F" word, didn't she?

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