Originally Posted by marshmallow107
He turned out to be everything I didnít realise I was looking for. Which is why I think itís shaken my perspective on life up.
Totally understand this sentiment.

In time, I hope, the sentiment shifts just a bit, since for everything you didn't realize you were looking for I suspect that one thing you were looking for was a man who had it in him to continue opening up to you past the 6 month mark. That is no small missing piece, is it? I'd say it's the most critical piece of the puzzle, with everything else (work-life balance, shared hobbies, steaminess quotient, etc.) being the icing.

So maybe there's another way to think of all this, as the heart heals? That he was a part of a moment in your life where you realized some changes you'd like to make to inhabit the business of inhabiting yourself a little cozier. Yes, he was a wonderful catalyst for all that but it doesn't need to end with your romantic time together ending. Making it the beginning of some shifts kind of honors that time, and yourself, you know?

Also, I do think that the pain of heartacheóa devastating pain I know wellóis also a reminder of something pretty beautiful: that we are more open to connection than we know, or knew. I get that finding genuine comfort in that abstract idea is next to impossible at the moment, but maybe earmark it for future reading, so what you're going through right now is about staying open, maybe even cultivating a level of openness that will be new to you.

I think of peopleóyou, me, him, everyoneókind of like a big house. All the lights are never quite on at the same time, and some rooms stay dark longer than others. The wildest part about connecting is that someone finds a light switch you didn't know was there, illuminating a room that was there the whole time but never set foot in. So crushing when things don't work out with the person, as loss of all sorts is just about the hardest part of life, but those newly lit rooms don't vanish.