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Thread: Healing after being abused

  1. #1
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    Healing after being abused

    I was in a relationship for 3 years with someone I thought I loved. The first year was great then after that I was mentally and physically abused. This guy use to chock me until I was gasping for tear, he would pull my hair, bite my face and also drag me into the car. I know itís easier said then done but I didnít leave: he would cry and beg for him to come back. At one point I turned nasty and started calling him fat, ugly because I couldnít handle the abuse. He use to make me have sex with him when I didnít want to and he use to say that I wasnít normal for not wanting it. There were times he would not stop when I asked him to stop because he was hurting me and he wouldnít until I pushed him off. There was a time where I just layed there and couldnít move but he still had sec with me. He made me feel like I wasnít normal for asking him to stop so I let him carry on. The abuse got so bad that I left, although he said if I leave, he would hurt me. I went away and then he kept threatening me. I got back together and continued to handle his mental abuse towards me because of my culture I just accepted that was my fate. I kept having a feeling that he was cheating because he kept coming to see me after work to have sex but then would say iím Working when I was off. He carried on the abuse for a little longer. I found out he had a relationship with someone for visa purpose as his visa had an issue and he wanted to do them but I was not ready to marry to help him. I spoke to the girl and she confirmed it that was for visa. One night I pray and I see a picture of him with some other girl. He then lied about that until I went on fb and found the truth. I gave him a choice and he choice me but kept stringing me along. I then messaged the Actual girl with pictures and evidence that he was never single when he married her. she called me a jealous ex and didnít believe me. I then found out the girl I spoke to was his side chick. I then found out he cheated on me with some girl I know but she didnít know that we were together. Apparently he also was seen with other girls out when we broke up. Throughout that time I was made to believe it was my fault and he was taking drugs because of me and I made him do it because I didnít love him enough. He calls me from time to time on private with songs saying itís my fault his heart is broken.

    Iím slowly healing but it hurts to know that he gets away with stuff like that and the girl his with thinks iím This weirdo when iím Not. Iím beyond the angry bow but I just feel more hurt that someone like that just doesnít have a care in the worth that he hurt someone.

  2. #2
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    This is going to require therapy to heal. Have nothing to do with him zero nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing. I would just feel sorry for those girls because heís doing the exact same thing to them that he did to you. Abusers donít change they never change ever ever ever.

    Please go and get some help.

  3. #3
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    Change your number. Yes, you can. I did it and it only took me about 15 minutes to text the people I wanted to have my new number.

    Then, therapy. As much as you need, for however long you need. Also, support groups.

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    I canít due to work issue as the moment. I the process of getting therapy. I have to wait due to the waiting time frame. Itís made me lose my confidence and feel ugly:(. I never want him back. The idea of him makes me sick. He was never my type but he tried for two years until I give in

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  6. #5
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    I did change my location of work and where I usually atat

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry this happened. Do you live with family? Do you work? You need to immediately block and delete him and all his people from all devices, all messaging apps and all social media. You also need to get a restraining order.

    Get to therapy to help you sort all this out and most off all why you are obsessed with his new target. Abusers are abusers. Be glad he is gone. Who cares what he or his new target think? Be glad you are free and safe from this creep. Focus on yourself and healing and rebuilding self-respect.
    Originally Posted by Lilly91
    I was in a relationship for 3 years with someone I thought I loved. He calls me from time to time on private with songs saying itís my fault his heart is broken.

    the girl his with thinks iím This weirdo when iím Not.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by Lilly91
    I did change my location of work and where I usually atat
    Take the final step and change your number. That way he can't continue to message you and you won't be tempted to give in.

    Also, you don't have to wait to join an abuse survivors' support group. They are free and available today.

  9. #8
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    yeah I do. My friends have been my support throughout this time but iíve Lost confidence in myself. I donít feel nice when I use to feel so lovely before and I use to have so much confidence. I was consumed by angry bug iím Not anymore. Just disappointment because he always blames me for his mistakes and he blames me for his drug abuse too

  10. #9
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    Amazing, thank you

  11. #10
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Oh my gosh Iím so sorry, yes agree with what everyone else said, distance and therapy will be your best friend.

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