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Thread: Feeling Lonely and Jealous

  1. #11
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    I can now see that sheís got me hooked on a toxic relationship. She can be so sweet to get her way and then when sheís uncomfortable or doesnít want to talk about something sheís outright mean or lacking of empathy.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    The best thing you can do for yourself is get a good checkup from a doctor and follow up on medical treatment as well as regular therapy to monitor your feelings and symptoms..

    As far as freinds go, don't make plans at all rather than cancel last minute. If someone is draining to you, just don't hang out with them. Instead find things that are uplifting to you such as joining groups (especially support groups), clubs, sports etc. Do things that improve your physical and mental health and you'll start to feel better. Don't rely on friendships for that especially when they are turbulent.
    Originally Posted by heartbroken84
    I'm a 33 year old woman with bipolar disorder, unmedicated and feeling so alone. I feel like everyone can tell so have depression and no one wants to be around me.After recently loosing a friendship because I depleted her energy, I am left alone again.

  3. #13
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    Iím actually medicated and have treatment. This post was about an off an on friendship thatís been taking a toll on me.

  4. #14
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    I would work on finding new friends, OP.

    This girl sounds like she preys on your insecurities.

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  6. #15
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    Yes, should I send her a message that Iím no longer interested in a friendship. Itís definitely hard for me to do because for the last 7 months weíve communicated daily. I know Iíll need to fill my time with hobbies and making new friends. Things had gotten so comfortable between us that I was willing to do anything to maintain the up and down friendship.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why not just fade out quietly. Dramatic messages seem a bit over the top. Simply stop confiding in her and stop accepting her invitations. Just be busy a lot. Keep in mind she's not evil, you've just outgrown each other. She's happy and you're not. So leave her alone. Confide in your therapist more and not in acquaintances.
    Originally Posted by heartbroken84
    Yes, should I send her a message that Iím no longer interested in a friendship.

  8. #17
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    Thanks! I guess I will fade out quietly. Thereís no point in communicating as we donít see eye to eye. I donít think sheís happy. Sure she has a boyfriend but he spend half his time here and half his time in another country. Sheís nearly 40, overweight, lives with her mom, unmarried, no kids, and her boyfriend doesnít want to get married. She also has a lot of daddy issues. Her father left when she was young and used to always cancel plans which is the reason why she gets an attitude if I happen to cancel a plan. Many people have issues with her and itís really her way or the highway. She doesnít really care about losing our friendship. When Iím around sheís happy she has someone to pass time with, when Iím not around she doesnít care. Thanks for helping me process that itís time to say bye for good.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by heartbroken84
    Yes, should I send her a message that Iím no longer interested in a friendship. Itís definitely hard for me to do because for the last 7 months weíve communicated daily. I know Iíll need to fill my time with hobbies and making new friends. Things had gotten so comfortable between us that I was willing to do anything to maintain the up and down friendship.
    This is where you need to stop and reflect. You need to figure out why you were volunteering to jump through hoops for someone who doesn't treat you right and sure ain't jumping through hoops for you.

    You write about her, but what about you? How's your self-esteem, not just in friendships but across all areas of your life?

  10. #19
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    I definitely need to work on my self esteem. I think there are many things she needs to work on too, as well. I am now taking care of myself by ceasing communication with this person. Sheís not evil, and sometimes she can be real nice and sweet.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by heartbroken84
    Thanks for helping me see. She makes me feel like a bad person. Anyhow, how do I tell her that I donít wish to be close friends without ghosting.
    Let the friendship naturally drift apart. Politely decline getting together and sooner or later, she'll take the hint. If she's insistent or confrontational, simply say, "No thank you" like a broken record until she gets your message that no means no. Let the friendship die on its own.

    It's better to be alone than lonely and miserable with the wrong friend.

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