I like this guy but I feel like I've blown my chance. Any advice?

I'm an 18 year old female and I met this guy about a week ago (probably about 25 years old). He was visiting my local town centre as part of a fundraising event for a charity and I would see him in the same area for about three days. The first time I passed by him, he complimented me on the necklace I was wearing (and I said thanks) The second time I passed by, he held eye contact and looked me in the eye, but I didn't think anything of it as I passed by. Finally, the day after, he happened to come into my work to buy food, spotted me and said "Hi!", to which I replied "hello" back along with a quick smile. As the store was busy, I had to get back to work.

 

Later on that day as I made my way home from work, he was in the same spot where he normally was. I just passing by, music blaring in my earphones, and he stopped me in the street and said something like, "Oh you're on your way home from work so soon." "Are you still at school?" "How old are you?" All this time, he looked me in the eye, not up and down or anything. We shook hands, he told me his name and I told him mine. We had a very brief conversation (mostly one-sided as he was firing questions at me and I didn't really have time to ask him any). Still, I regret not asking him more about himself. I am very shy and get super awkward around guys, so I tend to focus more on remembering to smile and maintain eye contact rather than participate fully in the conversation.

 

Now he's gone, so I won't see him in person anymore.

 

Do you think he was interested in me, or just being friendly? He seemed really nice and I feel like the conversation could've gone a lot further if it wasn't for the fact that I had a bus to catch. I wanted to ask him more about where he was from and about the charity he was supporting.

 

I'm conscious of the fact that I'm probably going to get some comments saying that I'm going overboard, overthinking things or being too "desparate". The thing is, it's tough enough when you have a chance and you blow it, but it's unspeakably harder when you didn't take the chance to begin with, and so have no idea whether a friendship could have developed from it or not. I do know that one of my biggest weaknesses is that I tend to get emotionally attached to people I've just met who've been kind or shown an interest in my day. It sounds immature and silly, but it's something I'm trying to work on.

 

Would it be creepy or stalkerish to find out his last name (through the name of the charity) so I could message/follow him on Facebook or Instagram? I don't want to appear obsessed but I'm quite disappointed that I might have blown a potential friendship :( He seemed quite bold when interacting with me and the questions he asked could be described as "creepy" so I guess he wouldn't mind that much if I reciprocate by reaching out to him in my own way.

 

Any tips or advice would be really appreciated.

 

Thanks for reading this, I know it's practically a mini novel. Anyway, hope you guys have a good day :)

I think it would be ok to find out his name and message him via FB. You can keep it friendly without being perceived as overbearing. It's a dance. First start off with being nice but not too forward. Eventually, ask if you two can meet for coffee or lunch. Get to know him and see what type of person he is over time. What's the hurry?

 

You don't know a person until you really begin to observe their personality and character. Of course, everyone is friendly in person at first and they always put their best foot forward. First impressions can either be sincere or scary-phony. Once you get past the veneer of social niceness, this is the time when you truly need to observe how he behaves whether honorably or not. Then you determine if he has any future potential for you.

 

Take it slow and don't rush. It's good to always remain cautious. Tread lightly.

 

If it works out great and you can continue to proceed, then wonderful. If he's alarming in any way or has red flags, you'll know he's not for you. You won't know until you get to know him. I say give it a shot! Just be careful though. Know how to play it safe. Always err on the side of caution because you never know whom you're dealing with out in public.

He seemed quite bold when interacting with me and the questions he asked could be described as "creepy"

In that case, I would tend to think that he was just trying to suss out if you were the type that would be up for a little adult fun. Can't say for sure but asking a pretty young thang creepy questions doesn't sit well with my spidey senses.

 

Besides, he's a little old for you who is a self-proclaimed shy/awkward person so why not just take his administrations as a compliment and let him (and you) get on with life without stalking him out through social media? Find someone a little closer to your age who isn't going to, off the get go, ask you creepy questions.

 

What kinds of questions did he actually ask you?

He did ask your age and if you're still in school. If he knows better, he would keep his distance. I don't suggest contacting this person or getting his name from anywhere. Take the interaction as a compliment (the necklace comment etc.) but don't think anything of this.

( He seemed quite bold when interacting with me and the questions he asked could be described as "creepy"

 

As a shy person, you will have to be even extra careful around men, because bullies/creeps/controllers/manipulators love to target shy women who lack confidence. Easy targets. And he's right. He was creepy and even so, you are eating up that attention just because he gives it and he's attractive. Why are you ignoring red flags about creepy questions? It's really rude for a stranger to ask you personal questions like how old you are and if you're in school, and who knows what else you're not telling us.

 

You think he might be 25, already a bit too old for you, and for all you know, he might be older. When I was 18, I really had no interest in dating anyone more than 2 years older than me. I preferred someone in my stage of life. To me there is something wrong with a 25 year old wanting to date an 18 year old. The human brain isn't even fully formed until about age 25.

 

As I told my stepdaughter when she was your age, working at a fast food restaurant, and being spoken to like a plaything from older male customers, "You don't have to answer their questions. If they say something rude, walk away. Not everyone has to like you."

 

I don't think you're quite ready to date yet, because you haven't mastered spotting red flags and your self esteem needs some work. For now, I'd read some articles on safe dating, what red flags guys can exhibit and how to spot them, how to rein in your emotions so you don't get so easily attached to someone you've just met, and how to strengthen your self worth so you will attract, and be attracted to, mentally healthy guys. Take care.

It sounds like he was going to try to pick you up but your age was out of his range. He knows where you are so don't stalk or hunt him down. If he wanted to ask you out he would have given you his contact info.

he happened to come into my work to buy food, spotted me and said "Hi!",

he stopped me in the street and said something like, "Oh you're on your way home from work so soon." "Are you still at school?" "How old are you?"

He seemed quite bold when interacting with me and the questions he asked could be described as "creepy"

 

What did he ask you, OP?