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Thread: how to get her back in my situation that i created

  1. #1

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    how to get her back in my situation that i created

    hey everyone,

    so about 3 and a half months ago my girlfriend broke up with me i wasn't happy about the brake up and wanted her back i understand i should of from the start of the break up started the no contact rule but i didn't ever think about it. instead i pushed and pushed when we are still good friends kept snapping and texting and hanging out with her. but about 2 weeks ago we got into our feelings and she decided to stop talking and do no contact and i haven't spoken to her since. but she sent me a letter about a week ago with all her feelings in that letter and she said she was sorry for hurting me and sorry for everything told me how a great guy i was and told me she loved me so much. so i just need advice on what to do. to answer some of your questions yes i want her back and yes i would do anything. should i write her a letter or text in a month i know what to its just i dont know the timing and how to do it. ive created a mess i know but it is what it is. so if someone could get back to this i would be grateful for advice.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How long were you dating? Why did you decide to hang out in the friendzone? What was the breakup about? Stop contacting her. Stop hanging out with her. It sounds like there is someone else. The 'nice guy, sorry for hurting you' line often means she's got her eye on someone.

    Pull completely back from this. Stop pushing her away by chasing, begging and being there too much. Delete and block her from social media . Date other girls in your school.
    Originally Posted by danny71
    i wasn't happy about the brake up and wanted her back
    we are still good friends kept snapping and texting and hanging out with her.
    2 weeks ago we got into our feelings and she decided to stop talking and do no contact
    she sent me a letter about a week ago with all her feelings in that letter and she said she was sorry for hurting me

  3. #3

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    we dated for a year we never fought she broke up with me because she didn't see a future. she didn't want to talk anymore because she couldn't take the pressure of me pushing her into a situation she couldn't handle and didn't want. and i know for a fact she isnt talking to anyone else. she to busy focusing on her not anyone else. i was her second boyfriend ever and she swore to me and know when shes lying she wouldnt of sent the letter other wise
    Last edited by danny71; 09-28-2019 at 05:34 PM.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I think you should leave her alone, she knows how to find you if she wants to. Learn from this and dont be so pushy with future girlfriends.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by danny71
    we dated for a year we never fought she broke up with me because she didn't see a future. she didn't want to talk anymore because she couldn't take the pressure of me pushing her into a situation she couldn't handle and didn't want. and i know for a fact she isnt talking to anyone else. she to busy focusing on her not anyone else. i was her second boyfriend ever and she swore to me and know when shes lying she wouldnt of sent the letter other wise
    Thank her for letter and tell her you really appreciate it and leave it at that.

    She will contact you after some indeterminate amount of time. Don't be needy and don't f-this up.

    Also...this only gets her back to the table... doesn't fix anything, and from the sound of it....there are issues.

  7. #6
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    Do not send her a letter, OP. It won't be well-received.

    Take this as a tough lesson in respecting boundaries. She had a valid reason to end the relationship. Whether or not she's currently seeing someone else is irrelevant, as it doesn't change the fact that she didn't wish to continue dating you.

    We can't always get what we want, man. It sucks but you need to let her go.

  8. #7
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    Don't be so pushy. Consider it over.

    Move on, see other women. In time it will fade and be forgotten. Why did she see no future. Did you refuse to commit to her?

  9. #8

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    she didnt see a future with me in it. we never fought never got angry at eachother. the only time she cried is when i was her first valentine and gave her a bear to love on when i was at school. and she was deeply in love with me and one day she ended it. i regret that when she came to my place and ended it i should of not even texted her or snapped her or did anything. i should of let her figure it out on her own

  10. #9
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    Why did she want to end it though? I can't see an actual reason. Anyway yeah just don't be so pushy next time.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by danny71
    she didnt see a future with me in it. we never fought never got angry at eachother. the only time she cried is when i was her first valentine and gave her a bear to love on when i was at school. and she was deeply in love with me and one day she ended it. i regret that when she came to my place and ended it i should of not even texted her or snapped her or did anything. i should of let her figure it out on her own
    It's a tough lesson to learn, but sometimes people are just... done with a relationship. She may say she loves you "so much" - but she didn't love you enough to stay. That says everything you need to know. You may have behaved in ways that you regret after the breakup, but there probably isn't a world where she would want to get back together with you. When people realize they don't love someone enough to stay, they are done.

    Now that you are well and truly separated, you can take some time to mourn, but eventually need to focus on your life now and your future and not trying to fix the past.

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