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Thread: My ex wife left me for another guy after 11 years

  1. #1
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    My ex wife left me for another guy after 11 years

    Itís been a year since we separated and 4 months since the divorce was finalized. I think about her every day and Iím not over her. I donít know what to do. Iím tired of friends and family saying ďjust get over itĒ

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    We have 3 young children together and had a well built life. She threw it away. Our relationship wasnít perfect. I donít think she is ever going to come back. But itís so hard for me to let goí

  3. #3
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Have you thought about joining a Parents Without Partners group or seeing a therapist to help you to come to terms with it all, Mike?

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    I came to terms she is gone and we arenít going to get back. She is living with the guy she had the affair with.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Are you more upset that your friends/family are being rude and impatient with you? Volunteer your emotions less (no emotional dumping on your friends and family). I agree about seeing a therapist and exploring your thoughts/emotions with someone in a safe place where you are not put down or brushed aside. Make sure you see your kids and play an active role in their life, be present for them. It's hard but focus on being a good dad and working on yourself.

  7. #6
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    And whatever you do, do NOT trash talk your ex's boyfriend or your ex to your kids.

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    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I agree you could use some therapy as you are not over her yet.

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    Her bf is the guy she had the affair with and I never bad mouth anyone. Iím active in their lives. Everyday I hope this is just a phase

  10. #9
    It's just a phase and phasses can be the hardest to go through but also is temporary. What I want for you to do is to take each day embracing that life is a building block to learn on. The best thing you can do for yourself now is to remain mentally resilient through the process. It's awesome too that you are well involved in the kids life. Let me ask do you play any sporting activities or exercise?

  11. #10
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    I donít think itís her you miss but the life and security you had. Seeing it taken away and having their life rubbed in your face every time you pick up the kids is making it hard to move forward. I feel you came here to find others to understand what you are going through. That you need some support because you are not getting any from those who are suppose to love you. You are getting rejected twice over and that can make things very lonely. Itís very difficult for men to ask for help and show vulnerability so seeking therapy is something you donít feel comfortable with. So you made the choice to come here and talk things out anonymously. I donít know about anyone else but Iím willing to listen. Letís have conversation.

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