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Thread: We have a million problems. Sure...marriage will solve it.

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    No point in getting married. It won't solve anything. What you need to do is resolve your relationship and personal baggage problems first. Once you've done that, then, based on the outcome, either break up or get married. Sounds though, like she might be feeling quite a lot of resentment if you have dangled marriage like a carrot for 12 years. You would definitely need couples therapy imo to resolve a 12 year relationship pattern gone wrong and the outcome doesn't sound promising. Given that there is a child involved though, imo, you have an obligation to try therapy.

  2. #12

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    Before you jump the gun, talk it out with her first. lay all your cards on the table, be honest. Completely honest. If you cannot do this on your own then seek counselling and therapy if necessary. Marrying her just because might make both of you feel trapped. Sure, you both love your kid and you are doing the marraige thing for him, but remember that this is not just about your child's happiness. It is for both for you and your partner's happiness as well.

  3. #13
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    A few questions as your answers might shed more light onto your situation: What qualities of her attracted you at the beginning? How was your dynamic before you had a child and how is it now?

    12 years is a long time. Anyhow, since you do have a son together, I strongly agree that couples counselling would be best and then hopefully you can reignite that spark you once had / work this out.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Chris0523
    Maybe I should pop the question and really start to work on our relationship? ... I look at it I know [I'm] in it for the long run.
    Yes, ask her to marry you and kick the relationship farce to the curb.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    What is her reason for shutting down the sex?

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