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Thread: Any advice on this? 6 year age difference.

  1. #1

    Any advice on this? 6 year age difference.

    So I'm 17f and I am dating a 23m. My parents do not let us even hang out as "friends" so we have to sneak around. Both of us know its wrong but we have feelings for each other. I have never been in a relationship like this before but I know there's a huge power dynamic due to age difference - what are signs that he is taking advantage of me? Also any general advice?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Too big an age difference, you two are in different places mentally and emotionally. If he tries to control you in any way, such as not letting you hang with your friends, prevents you from doing your hobbies or sports, basically not letting you be you, then there's some red flags you must pay attention to. If he's pushing for sex then there's a really big red flag. Honestly you should find someone closer to your own age who is on the same wavelength as you. Your parents are right in not letting you hang out with this guy and surely you know sneaking around is wrong and sooner or later you will be caught.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Asking you to betray your parents and yourself, sneaking around, willing to get you in trouble. He's not the one facing consequences if you see him, you are. He knows this but doesn't care.
    Originally Posted by bbydvjour
    - what are signs that he is taking advantage of me?

  4. 09-25-2019, 11:42 AM

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    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bbydvjour
    So I'm 17f and I am dating a 23m. My parents do not let us even hang out as "friends" so we have to sneak around. Both of us know its wrong but we have feelings for each other. I have never been in a relationship like this before but I know there's a huge power dynamic due to age difference - what are signs that he is taking advantage of me? Also any general advice?
    As a 23 year old adult man, he is knowingly going against your parents wishes. That doesn't say much about his integrity.
    You are too, but he should be more mature about it and respect your parents right and comply to the boundaries they have set for their minor daughter.
    Depending on the state you live in, they could press charges.

    The fact that you are here asking for signs, suggests you might not have to tools to identify them yourself. At 17 there is no rush to date, let alone get into a relationship.

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    Platinum Member Snny's Avatar
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    Also any general advice?
    Yeah, break up. Because this guy is a pedophile.

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    Sorry. Statutory rape waiting to happen. Too big of an age gap. Listen to your folks. they are right an are protecting you.

  9. #7
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    He is disrespecting you, your parents and not following the honorable man code. He's taking advantage of your youth and naivete. He's a wolf in sheep's clothing.

    Be wise and end it otherwise when you're older, you'll look back one day and regret it.

    Hold yourself to a higher standard. Be "more expensive." Don't sell yourself cheap.

    Be with a man who respects you and treats you like a lady. All other men are REJECTS.

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    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bbydvjour
    So I'm 17f and I am dating a 23m. My parents do not let us even hang out as "friends" so we have to sneak around. Both of us know its wrong but we have feelings for each other. I have never been in a relationship like this before but I know there's a huge power dynamic due to age difference - what are signs that he is taking advantage of me? Also any general advice?
    The MAJOR red flag is that he knows he shouldn't be seeing you because your parents don't approve so he sneaks in his time with you. THAT, my dear, no man that loved and respected you would do. If he loved and respected you, he would respect your parents wishes and either talk to them about waiting until you were older to date you or only see you in their home until they approved of the two of you dating out on your own.

    Why will your parents not let you even hang out as friends? Is the age difference why they don't approve or is it because of his attitude in general?
    How did you meet this man that is that much older than you?

    FWIW: Their "not allowed" has backfired on them and is IMO a poor way to have handled this.


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