'I'm confused'

So I broke up with my six months ago. She seemed to lose interest and in the end we both mutually agreed to end. It's someonthing I didn't want but after trying and trying I saw no other option. A few days ago I told her I still have feelings, we have been keeping in minimal contact. I told her I still have feelings and that if I could change things I would. That I remember the good times etc. She asked me if I'm trying to say I want to try again. I said to her I'd like to meet for coffee and see how things went. But only if we both wanted it.

She mentioned about how difficult the end was and that's soemthing she can't forget. She said she's confused. That we had good times but the end was bad. She told me she'll think about it.

How would you read this? Am I wasting my time?

So I broke up with my six months ago. She seemed to lose interest and in the end we both mutually agreed to end. It's someonthing I didn't want but after trying and trying I saw no other option. A few days ago I told her I still have feelings, we have been keeping in minimal contact. I told her I still have feelings and that if I could change things I would. That I remember the good times etc. She asked me if I'm trying to say I want to try again. I said to her I'd like to meet for coffee and see how things went. But only if we both wanted it.

She mentioned about how difficult the end was and that's soemthing she can't forget. She said she's confused. That we had good times but the end was bad. She told me she'll think about it.

 

How would you read this? Am I wasting my time?

I would read it like the instructions on how to eat the little bag of peanuts you get on an airplane...

Waste of time... sorry to say.

Yes, you're probably wasting your time. Sorry to say that. Why did she lose interest? It's not such a good idea to try and win the affections of someone who loses interest in you so easily. Have a little more dignity than that. Pull yourself out of the gutter and be around people who appreciate you more.

Sorry to hear this. Breakups are rough and she's not ready to "see how it goes". Give her space. Stop contacting her. If/when she ever wants to meet/reconcile, she knows where to find you. For now she's too sore and you'll just get beaten up for hurting her. Never chase "confused" people.

I said to her I'd like to meet for coffee and see how things went. She mentioned about how difficult the end was and that's soemthing she can't forget. She said she's confused. That we had good times but the end was bad.

Yes, you're probably wasting your time. Sorry to say that. Why did she lose interest? It's not such a good idea to try and win the affections of someone who loses interest in you so easily. Have a little more dignity than that. Pull yourself out of the gutter and be around people who appreciate you more.

I don't know the reason she lost interest, she would stop asking to see me, excuses not to do things etc. But when I would ask her if she wanted to be in the relationship she would reply she has never said she hasn't.

I still love her and find it hard to let go. I have develop bad anxiety over the last few months and the thought of her with someone else kills me to be honest

I don't know the reason she lost interest, she would stop asking to see me, excuses not to do things etc. But when I would ask her if she wanted to be in the relationship she would reply she has never said she hasn't.

I still love her and find it hard to let go. I have develop bad anxiety over the last few months and the thought of her with someone else kills me to be honest

If that's the case, she's not being very forthright with you. Withholding information from someone is as bad as a lie. They're all forms of miscommunication and deception/manipulation. Be more careful about your company and those you trust. I think this person has been toying with you for awhile.

If that's the case, she's not being very forthright with you. Withholding information from someone is as bad as a lie. They're all forms of miscommunication and deception/manipulation. Be more careful about your company and those you trust. I think this person has been toying with you for awhile.

She was never really good at communicating. I tried to get to the bottom of it and I guess became more and more desperate because I could see us slipping away and I tried to make things better but ultimately I failed. Thanks, in all honesty I didn't think she would be like that but maybe I'm looking at things through rose tinted glasses. She took things very personal

I would ask her what, exactly, I did that made her so angry with me toward the end, and if she's not willing to tell you, then I'd walk away from this. Withholding important information with the assumption that you 'should' know is not the behavior or someone who wants to repair things. It means she wants some fantasy lover to cater to her vision, and no real life person can live up to that.

On the other hand, if we were to offer you a million dollars to come up with a thing or two that likely made her furious with you, how much of that money could you win?

I'd say shes messing you about and keeping you on the backburner in case something else doesnt work out. I'd move on.

I would ask her what, exactly, I did that made her so angry with me toward the end, and if she's not willing to tell you, then I'd walk away from this. Withholding important information with the assumption that you 'should' know is not the behavior or someone who wants to repair things. It means she wants some fantasy lover to cater to her vision, and no real life person can live up to that.

 

On the other hand, if we were to offer you a million dollars to come up with a thing or two that likely made her furious with you, how much of that money could you win?

She said a lot of things were said, by me that made her upset and felt she couldn't win. Im absolutely gutted I made her feel like that, I'm not a band person and genuinely didn't believe I said things to make her feel like I was trying to be horrible to her. She hasn't replied to me so I'm going to say she's not interested in seeing me.

I'd say shes messing you about and keeping you on the backburner in case something else doesnt work out. I'd move on.

Thanks l that's not very good.

I said this elsehwere if someone ever said to me "im not sure, im confused" that is not a "yes i want to be with you" so "im confused" is actually " i do not want to be with you unless nothing else comes up" at best.

I said this elsehwere if someone ever said to me "im not sure, im confused" that is not a "yes i want to be with you" so "im confused" is actually " i do not want to be with you unless nothing else comes up" at best.

I'm beginning to think that. She told me she would think abiut meeting up, she told me about how she felt towards the end of the relationship, the way I made her feel, it was a shock to me and I never knew that's how I was making her feel. She said she was really upset at the end and I said a lot of things that made her feel bad. All I was trying to do was try and solve the problems we were having. I'm absolutely gutted she felt like this because I never intended to make her feel like that and I don't recall saying anything to make her feel like this. But I guess I must have. She got back in touch the other day, started convo talked for a while and I was waiting for her to say yes or no to meet up, she never did mention it. I didn't want to ask because she said she would let me know.....she's now stopped replying and ignored my last reply to her.

Yeah if you keep contact/trying to get her back she will generally be cold or ignorsnt when she's got something good going with a other guy and then be all lovey dovey to you when it goes wrong.

Are you going to put your life and happiness on hold and allow her to do this is the question.

Yeah if you keep contact/trying to get her back she will generally be cold or ignorsnt when she's got something good going with a other guy and then be all lovey dovey to you when it goes wrong.

 

Are you going to put your life and happiness on hold and allow her to do this is the question.

I guess she doesn't but have the same feelings as I have for her. If she could do that.

Like you say I'm a back up plan, I just struggle to think she could be like that, maybe she isn't the person I thought she was when we were together .

Most ex's never really are. I think you see the true side of a person in how they act at a breakup.

Yes, you're wasting your time, OP.

She isn't thinking of reconciling. She just doesn't have the stones to come out and tell you that it's not going to happen.

Yes, you're wasting your time, OP.

 

She isn't thinking of reconciling. She just doesn't have the stones to come out and tell you that it's not going to happen.

I asked her to meet up. She said she'd think about it....after getting in touch with me twice after she never mentioned it until I asked about it. She told me she was still thinking. She dienst want to build my hopes by saying yes nor does she want to say no and regret saying no. So she said she will tell me when she knows...

So she has all the power now. Keeping you guessing and the waiting game. She could be toying with you to get back at you. Stop contacting her.

I asked her to meet up. she said she will tell me when she knows...

Shes keeping her options open and leaving you dangling and putting your life on hold for her. Easy to end this.

How many years are you willing to let her control you? When will you get tired of sitting on a shelf waiting and hoping she picks you?

I think she is likely seeing someone else and doesn't want to mess things up with him by agreeing to meet you, but doesn't want to write you off completely in case things don't pan out with him.

In any event, she is not on the same page you are. It would be best to stop communicating with her so you can begin to truly heal.

I think she is likely seeing someone else and doesn't want to mess things up with him by agreeing to meet you, but doesn't want to write you off completely in case things don't pan out with him.

 

In any event, she is not on the same page you are. It would be best to stop communicating with her so you can begin to truly heal.

She told me just a couple of days ago she wasn't seeing someone..

She is hard to read, when we first started seeing eachtiher it took me 7minths to get her in a date. She is quite a shy girl.

I know deep down she isn't into me anymore. Which is a shame. I'm not putting my life on hold. I am not looking for another relationship right now, I want to focus on other parts of my life. The only relationship I would get into is one woth her but I'm not interested in dating at the moment.