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Thread: Are my wife and best mate attracted to each other?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You need to distance yourself from them. Stop hanging out with them. Don't invite them over and find excuses not to go there. That will give you some space to see what's what.
    Originally Posted by SouthernSoft
    The conversations all take place when we are staying there or they are here.

  2. #12
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    You need to distance yourself from them. Stop hanging out with them. Don't invite them over and find excuses not to go there. That will give you some space to see what's what.
    I tried that... my ex moved on to the next target!

  3. #13
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    It's one of those situations where it's hard for people to tell without being there. From what you describe, it could be just two people who are friendly and simply click that way, or it could be something potentially more. Bottom line is that if you aren't a normally jealous or insecure person and you find yourself in a situation where your alarm bells are ringing, listen to them. We have intuition for a reason and it sounds like your intuition is trying to tell you something.

    That said, he might be into her, she might not be into him, they both might be into each other, they may act on that or never act on that. As another poster pointed out, yes you will come across people over your lifetime that you'll feel attracted to who aren't your spouse. It happens but in most cases, people don't cross those lines. At any rate, it might be a really good idea to distance yourself from this friend and cut back on sleepovers. Get busy with your life, your wife, plan some family trips or maybe a romantic getaway together, etc. Basically, work on your connection together and put your pal on cool down.

  4. #14
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    If she doesn't call him, and all the conversations take place in front of you -- what else do you do when you have a friend that you don't see that often == she is going to talk to him. If she does not call or text him when you aren't together with them - i don't see where your marriage is down the tubes unless something else is going on in it

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  6. #15
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    But if he confides in her, she should bring you into the convo - but i wll admit my ex's friend called me to ask me what he should do once (he went on 2 dates with a woman and wanted to know how he should proceed) he wanted a woman's opinion because the guys wouldn't be honest with him. I don't think that some confessions are necessarily bad. But i did tell my ex and he was fine with it. The friend was NOT into me and vice versa - just a good friend to both. Do you confide in your wife? Do you have emotional itimacy?

  7. #16
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    All of my husband's man friends confide in me. And ask for my advice regularly. And my attraction to them = ZERO.

    Only be worried if they are having texts, emails, call exchanges without her telling you about them.

    Maybe take time to go visit them early, and leave the same day. Keep sleepovers to a small minimum, well, cuz you're all adults.

  8. #17
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by tattoobunnie
    All of my husband's man friends confide in me. And ask for my advice regularly. And my attraction to them = ZERO.

    Only be worried if they are having texts, emails, call exchanges without her telling you about them.

    Maybe take time to go visit them early, and leave the same day. Keep sleepovers to a small minimum, well, cuz you're all adults.
    But do they sit next you you and engage in conversation that excludes everyone else? Do they put their hand on your waist when you walk by???

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What does his wife think of all this? Does she think her husband and your wife are a bit too friendly?
    Originally Posted by SouthernSoft
    ....and his wife.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    You're probably the best judge of all this, OP. That you are asking suggests to me that you and your wife don't have a very solid relationship or understanding and have probably drifted apart for awhile. Your first priority isn't figuring out what your wife is doing behind your back or playing mindreader. It should be repairing your marriage and figuring out how you drifted apart this far for this long.

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by Camber 2019
    But do they sit next you you and engage in conversation that excludes everyone else? Do they put their hand on your waist when you walk by???
    I'm not there...I have no idea what they are doing looks like. I find that sometimes when someone may be insecure, things look magnified. I have always been able to be friends with men, mostly having two older bros and being able to be rough and tumble, and having a tough as nails mom. It's also my job to talk to both sexes, and treat people like people. I also find that since the OP isn't asking the wife about this, and lacks trusts that she can keep her pants on, they probably have some other issues over the years.

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