Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 6 FirstFirst 123456 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 58

Thread: My boyfriend(20) broke up with me(21) because I ruined everything.

  1. #21
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Posts
    20
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Stop rehearsing the self-pity speeches here and take responsibility for yourself like an adult.
    I clearly already expressed that I know I've made a mistake and want to make changes in the post. Not sure how you thought you are helping me or what was gained by commenting such negativity. Have a good day

  2. #22
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Posts
    20
    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    I live in NYC and none of my friends have professionally dated to support themselves. Either you move to a cheaper area, get roommates or get a job you can be proud of.
    I live in a fairly decent priced place, and I'm getting a new job. Thanks

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    35,513
    Gender
    Male
    Are you apologizing to him for lying or being an escort? Lying was the bigger mistake of the two. Why did you lie to him?
    Originally Posted by Foreverweekend
    I clearly already expressed that I know I've made a mistake

  4. #24
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Posts
    20
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Go home to your parents. Go To USC for a degree or get a scholarship to NYU if you want to be an artist.. Being an escort is not being "an artist". Stop the pity party. You felt no guilt whatsoever when these old farts handed you cash "for your company", but now you do? Because he found out you're a liar? Were you "suicidal" when these sugar daddies where paying your rent, buying your clothes and giving you cash? That's no 'mistake', that's greed.
    I did feel bad, and I was planning on stopping soon. I made a huge mistake and I acknowledged that. I cannot go back to California for many reasons. I am in art but I am also an aspiring business owner and I intend on traveling soon.

    Can I ask, why you felt the need to comment several times attacking me? Who hurt you? This is a self help forum, if you aren't here to give constructive criticism or advice, don't comment.

  5.  

  6. #25
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Posts
    20
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Are you apologizing to him for lying or being an escort? Lying was the bigger mistake of the two. Why did you lie to him?
    I apologized for both, the day after it all happened when we were at the park. I explained this in the original post. I shouldn't have lied or been doing what I was doing.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    3,502
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by maew
    Just stop OP. Put the bat down... and by that I mean, give your head a shake and stop being a martyr. I don't know about anyone else but I did plenty of dumb things in my 20's and lived to tell about it... you will be able to go on with life, I assure you, as long as you take responsibility and stop doing the things that make you feel badly about yourself.

    To take responsibility, start by acknowledging that you chose to be an escort / sugar baby / whatever you want to call it... no one forced you to go on those dates, you did it because you wanted the outcome of having easy money.

    Thing is... if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. All decisions come with consequences, good or bad. You chose to make a decision that came with a negative consequences.... your actions harmed an important person in your life... if you want to avoid such consequences in the future, you need to start thinking beyond instant gratification and consider doing things that build confidence.

    I have a good friend who often says... "if you want self-esteem, do esteem-able things." Don't do stuff that will make you feel $hitty about yourself if you want to have good relationships, high confidence, etc. and instead invest time and energy working towards the things that are important to you. There is a lot of up front work to those things that doesn't bring instant fulfillment but knowing you are working towards something positive will make you feel a lot better about yourself at the end of the day.
    Please read the above a few times. Please know it's not an attack.

    You're young in NYC, you made some questionable choices in the spirt of #yolo—welcome to the club. You are part of lineage of people that numbers in the millions, with this poster among them. Many of those people are aspiring artists and creatives—types who, historically, have a sweet tooth for flinging themselves in some dark corners in search of light, distraction, money, experience, whatever. Some go on to crush it in those fields, and in the field of living above board, laughing off a few dumb things they did early on the journey before learning to harness that impulsive energy into something tangible and healthy. Others let those dumb things define them, romanticizing pain and darkness and mistakes in ways that are not very cute.

    You get to choose which path you want. Life has called you on your bs. It's a thing that life does. Answer the call, so you can call yourself out in the future.

    J does not sound as bent out of shape as you are about this. He's been kind to you. Think about that for a second. He's actually thinking about more than himself. You can do the same. It's not about getting him back as you want him—that's just thinking about you—but rising up as the moment demands rather than deeming yourself a sinner who can't be salvaged. That's just standing down at the very moment life is asking you to stand up.

  8. #27
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Posts
    20
    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Please read the above a few times. Please know it's not an attack.

    You're young in NYC, you made some questionable choices in the spirt of #yolo—welcome to the club. You are part of lineage of people that numbers in the millions, with this poster among them. Many of those people are aspiring artists and creatives—types who, historically, have a sweet tooth for flinging themselves in some dark corners in search of light, distraction, money, experience, whatever. Some go on to crush it in those fields, and in the field of living above board, laughing off a few dumb things they did early on the journey before learning to harness that impulsive energy into something tangible and healthy. Others let those dumb things define them, romanticizing pain and darkness and mistakes in ways that are not very cute.

    You get to choose which path you want. Life has called you on your bs. It's a thing that life does. Answer the call, so you can call yourself out in the future.

    J does not sound as bent out of shape as you are about this. He's been kind to you. Think about that for a second. He's actually thinking about more than himself. You can do the same. It's not about getting him back as you want him—that's just thinking about you—but rising up as the moment demands rather than deeming yourself a sinner who can't be salvaged. That's just standing down at the very moment life is asking you to stand up.
    You're right. Thank you so much.

    I did tell J that though I'm sorry for everything and if I could I'd undo it, I am in some ways glad this happened because as you said, life IS calling me out on my bs.

    I needed to be called out on my bs. I'm going to grow and learn from this and become a better person. Hopefully I can look back and laugh at this

    Anyone telling me I shouldn't feel sorry for myself is right as well. I want to become someone I can respect and love so that I can become a better person, someone worthy of J. I suppose becoming a better person starts with the act of forgiving yourself, and then moving forward and problem solving... Figuring out where I can make changes

    I apologize if my self blame and angst is overwhelming, I'm a very passionate person and I'm feeling the weight of this all in full effect.

    I think things happen for a reason and this happened so that both J and I can grow from it and learn from it. He told me he learned things from it, and I did too.

    I want to learn to channel my passion and impulsive energy in a good way.

    Thank you so much for your words :-)

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    35,513
    Gender
    Male
    Why can't you return to CA? It could be a fresh start for you. No one there needs to know what went wrong in NYC.
    Originally Posted by Foreverweekend
    I was planning on stopping soon.
    I cannot go back to California for many reasons.
    I am in art
    I am also an aspiring business owner
    I intend on traveling soon.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    21,563
    Of course you will move past this. Change your lifestyle and make better choices.

    Think about your family and friends, and how cruel it would be to end your life over something like this. You didn't murder anyone.

    Learn and grow!

  11. #30
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Posts
    20
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Why can't you return to CA? It could be a fresh start for you. No one there needs to know what went wrong in NYC.
    Because

    A) That would just mean I would just be running from my problems

    B) My parents live an hour from LA and for me to pursue the things I want to, I need to be in the heart of the action. NYC is perfect for that, and there's so many amazing and inspiring people here - which is what I need

    C) Rent in California is just as expensive as rent in NYC so... there's no point.

    D) My biggest passion is traveling and I want to be in the city where people have traveled from all over to be. I love meeting people from all the cultures and countries I someday hope to visit

Page 3 of 6 FirstFirst 123456 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •