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Thread: Was it the alcohol or something more?

  1. #1
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    Was it the alcohol or something more?

    Sorry it's a long post but please read and give feedback. I do appriecate it!

    So the other night my best friend who is a female (I'm a male) send her best female friend in to see me at work to help her with a project she wanted to do. Anyways, long story short she picked up all the materials she needed to complete the project. Her friend asked me if I would come over to help her get it built and that she was picking up my best friend later as well. I agreed to so that it could get done faster. Also, to hang with my best friend.

    I am married but it isn't looking good for that sitiation. My best friend is working to get out of a toxic relationship as well and I'm trying to help her. Now, I would call my best friend and I very close. We talk/text constantly about projects, work, people, life, etc... So I show up at her friend's house later that evening to get started. We start and get to going on the project. We are drinking some beers/alcoholic beverages. Then, my best friend says "let's do a shot" so we open a fifth of something that tastes pretty good. We all talk for about some random stuff for a bit. Then, go back to the project. Then a little later the idea of doing a shot comes up again. So we do another shot. Now, it's just me and those two the whole time. By the end of the night (4am) we have polished off a fifth and part if another plus our drinks and have mostly finished the project. We drank a lot!!! So, during all this happening my best friend frequently leans against me, feeds me a pretzel here and there and share a couple pieces of pizza between the two of us taking bits off the same pieces. We even drank from the same drink several times. Now we do that sometimes normally but not to this magnitude nor this much and then that added leaning on me and getting really close. She was extra touchy feely too. Once, she was on the floor and I was popping her and her friend's backs. When I did my best friend's we were pretty lit. I had to pick her up off the floor, it was funny. When I did she wrapped her legs around me real tight. I carried her over to a chair and we all did another shot. A time or two we were literally in each other's arms holding on tight while we were all talking about stuff and her female friend was on the otherside of the bar talking to us. Honestly, it was amazing, one of the best nights of my life!

    So, aside from our other relationships... her and I are very close. She has never been that close to me that much or that drastically but we do hug frequently and tell each other we love each other. She seemed very comfortable and cozy when I had my arms wrapped around her holding onto her. Now, I'm not going to lie that I do have a thing for her but I also respect her very much and truely do care about her. Would it be cool if we ended up together one day? Yes, definitely! I think we would be great and have a lot of fun together. We do many simular things amd have many simular interests. I would want it to be real and authentic though from both sides. I know mine would be. So, am I wishful thinking here or dreaming some? Frankly, it was one of the funnest nights I have ever had. Also, throughout the night her female best friend would make comments about us being together. Like "if she wasn't married she'd be all over me (if my best friend wasn't)" or you need to marry him!" or "you need to leave your bf and be with him!" They would have little quiet quick chats also here and there where I couldn't hear what they were saying. Her friend says she thinks I'm amazing and seems to mean it. She said that she wants to get my best friend and I together. She says when she is determined to do something it usually happens. My best friend's family (mom, dad, sister, son) all love me I have been told. My best friend apparently talks regularly about me to them and they always ask about me. I also take care of my best friend most of the time helping her with rides, meals, other stuff she needs, etc. She does say often she is so comfortable around me. Even today her sister was in and was talking to me about some materials for her and her husband's projects at home and I sort of felt like her sister was "feeling me out" since my best friend wasn't around at the time.

    So am I a and should not think to much about it or are things more obvious?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    You're married? What are you acting so irresponsible for? Drinking, carrying on with women. No wonder your marriage isn't working out.

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    This post isn't about that. There are major issues with that situation that are more leaned towards the wife's way.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Make your life a lot more simple than this.

    Get divorced first, then date.

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  6. #5
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    Well, I was looking for feedback towards my post and not my relationship status but ok. Guess I wrote all that out for nothing.
    Last edited by Aj86; 09-23-2019 at 12:39 AM. Reason: Change

  7. #6
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    You're kind of putting the cart before the horse.

    When are you getting divorced?

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    Why don't you ask the opinion from your spouses!

  9. #8
    Platinum Member indea08's Avatar
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    Not many people here will jump on your train of thought and encourage you to feed into this thing with your “best friend”. Several people here were once the spouse who was being cheated on.

    You’re acting incredibly immature. It’s not okay to be married and getting drunk alone with other women, cuddling, and saying “I love you.” It doesn’t matter which girl you chase, if you don’t learn boundaries, it will never work out for you. I’m not sure how any of these people hold you in such high regard. I would NEVER support any of my friends in pursuing anything with any guy who acts this way while married. And the fact that these girls are all flustered over you tells me that their emotional maturity isn't great either.

    So all in all, this just sounds like a big blurred toxic mess that will be fun and exciting, until reality hits and then it will be very ugly.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Affairs happen with or without alcohol all this time. This is about your extracurricular 'friends", not drinking. Whatever happened happened because you were both in the same time and place and made it happen, not because of booze.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Aj86
    Well, I was looking for feedback towards my post and not my relationship status but ok. Guess I wrote all that out for nothing.
    But of course your post has everything to do with the status of your relationship. People who are happily married don't go out and get drunk with their female friends, don't wish they were in a relationship with them, don't think about cheating on their partners.

    No one knows the circumstances of your current relationship but I know everyone will tell you that cheating is the worst form of betrayal, that relationships that start with cheating don't work out, that cheating is a direct result of avoiding responsibility, and that you need to act like an adult and take care of the situation in front of you first.

    And shame on that friend for encouraging such behavior between you two.

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