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Thread: Do I move away..again?

  1. #1
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    Do I move away..again?

    Hi, I am 50 yrs old and been divorced for 2 yrs. I am now trying to make it on my own which is not easy! I have 2 grown children and a grandson and granddaughter, ages 1 and 4. I am very close with all my family...parents, siblings, other relatives and definitely my kids and grands. We all live in close proximity, however at the moment I am staying with family members because I can't afford to be on my own yet.
    I moved away (out of state) for a little while because I found a job that paid enough for me to support myself. The job was very stressful but I liked the area very much.
    I put away enough money to give myself a few months to find work and came back to where my family is. Unfortunately, I haven't found work at decent pay. I can possibly move out of state again and go back into a stressful job, be away from my family 😢, but make the money I need, or stay here and hopefully find 2 jobs that will at least help me to get out on my own.
    I am struggling with what to do. My family wants me here too. I don't want to have regrets.
    What should I do? Any advice is appreciated!

  2. #2
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    I moved away after a bad relationship ended. I did very well at my new location but I really missed my family (adult kids, cousins, siblings), so I moved back. A couple of years later I moved back because where my family lives is really expensive and it's crowded, traffic is awful...

    So my dilemma was the opposite of yours.

    Do you have friends, a support system and a guaranteed job at the out of state location?

    I'd be inclined to stay close to family because if something goes wrong they are there. I worry all the time because I have health issues and if something goes very wrong I have friends but zero family. Honestly, I've considered moving back just to be near family again.

    BTW, I'm in my 50s also.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member charity's Avatar
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    Stay close to your family. Its clear that's where your heart is. You'll find a way to make it work.

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    WOuld you not have interviewed for jobs in your old area while you were living in the new area, and only move when you find one? It can't possibly be that there are zero jobs around?

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    WOuld you not have interviewed for jobs in your old area while you were living in the new area, and only move when you find one? It can't possibly be that there are zero jobs around?
    Yeah, I made that mistake. I moved back "home" with no job. It took me MONTHS to find a job, and that was with me sending no fewer than 10 resumes every day. I went completely broke (not exaggerating) and only nearly 10 years later was able to recover from THAT financial disaster.

    Are you guaranteed to get your old job back in the other state?

  7. #6
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Do you actually have a job right now? How about working at McDonalds or similar til you find something better? Your family naturally prefers you to stay around them. Is there anyone you can share your own place with so you can move out of mom's house?

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    Do you actually have a job right now? How about working at McDonalds or similar til you find something better? Your family naturally prefers you to stay around them. Is there anyone you can share your own place with so you can move out of mom's house?
    I cashiered at a national chain store until I could find a new job. However, I stayed broke.

    Getting your own place always sounds like a great idea, but every place I've lived required a deposit. Sometimes it's quite substantial, although if you have excellent credit you can usually find a move in special. Beware of those places that require you to sign a two year lease in exchange for reduced rent! My friend did that and she ended up moving out 14 months before the lease was up and paying a steep fee.

    I would stay at Mom's until you have enough saved up for a deposit and a couple months rent. But yes, a job, any job, is much better than having zero income.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I'd move out of state and go back to the stressful job because it's better than being unemployed. Then once you're employed at your out-of-state job, during off hours, do your job search for a local job closer to your family. After you've attained your new job closer to your family, resign from the out-of-state job. Always overlap and never place yourself in limbo. Think conservatively regarding your job strategy.

  10. #9
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    I agree any job for now so that I at least have some income but jobs here are few and far between and it has been 4 months. I am trying to hold on to enough of my savings to have a months rent and deposit but I will soon have to start dipping into that. Staying with family members is not easy on either of us.
    What it comes down to is stay close to family (which means a lot) and struggle to make ends meet or go out of state and make a good living. I guess its a matter of a broken heart verses surviving.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    I'd stay with family and apply with temp agencies, at least one per morning, at least 3 per week. That's how to get inside companies. The role doesn't matter. The goal is to learn which cultures are a good fit and apply for better jobs from within. These are the jobs that never get published to the public.

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