Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Is It Better To Just Move On?

  1. #1

    Is It Better To Just Move On?

    The start of this relationship began over a year ago in University.

    She and I met during the middle of the semester and after talking for a bit we decided to go on a date. After the first date we met everyday for a week as things were progressing extremely well and we were always excited to see each other. On the last date of that week however, she called me after I walked her back to her place, and she stated that we couldn't see each anymore due to a variety of people saying that she should stop seeing me as it isn't fair to me or her as she had just gotten out of a relationship. I was a bit devastated as things were going along very well and I had finally met someone that I could connect with so well in such a short span of time. After this, it was a bit of back and forth texting and eventually we stopped communicating for a bit, but then we resumed texting once more a few months later and again things stopped. By the end of the year I had graduated and moved back home.

    Fast forward to the middle of August of this year, and I received a text from her stating that she is soon to be released from the hospital for treatment and asked for a time that we could talk. I obliged and an hour later I received a call from her, and she told me how she had been battling depression and bipolar, and that her words from when she decided to end things between us were all lies because her condition ticked in her, and that her friends were actually upset that she ended things with me. She apologized for the way she acted and treated me and asked for another shot at things. We discussed things and we agreed to try once more, and although it would be long distance, we were still in the same state, and it would only be a one hour plane ride to see her.

    Things were going very well, we were catching up and communicating everyday while she waited for classes to start once more, but once she began classes, she began to noticeably change. As of this point she was taking medication, but it wouldn't take effect just yet, and her psychiatrist was doing what they could to help her. About three weeks in she began to be more irritable and frustrated which I'm assuming was due to the added stress of class as well as the fact that this was a LDR. Soon enough she asked for a break 3 weeks in but the night before that we called before bed and were discussing what we would do later on and a future together, as well as us agreeing that I would visit her in October of this year. I asked the reason for the break and she stated that things were not going to be good between for us for a while as she would no longer be communicative and wouldn't respond to me no matter how much I reached out to her, but at this point it reminded me of what happened back when we first met, and I told her that we need to have a call to discuss whether or not a relationship would be good for us in general as her wellbeing is far more important than continuing something that was clearly adding to her stress.

    She said okay to it, but soon texted me a variety of reasons asking for us to make a planner together in order to fit our schedules in and have a break where things wouldn't fit, but she soon retracted what she said before and stated that those were written when she was driving and during class, but still insisted on us making a life plan together. She then asked for me to prove to her that this relationship can work, or at least until she can prove that it won't work.

    At this point I was simply confused and told her that we just need to have a phone call.

    A few days later I asked if a certain time was good for calling, but she stated that she had a horrible day due to her psychiatrist and would rather not have more emotional suffering for that day unless the call was absolutely needed. I agreed out of respect for her and mentioned that we can have the conversation whenever a good time was available for her.

    At this point, things are quiet between us, and a sentence or two were exchanged between us for a few days, but for about a week things have been quiet and I'm assuming that things are completely done and over with without us having to even discuss it. Did I go about things poorly?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Surrey BC, Canada
    Posts
    1,174
    Gender
    Female
    She's bi-polar, lies to you, and is flaky....run forest run! Dude you did nothing wrong....she has mental illness she is struggling with. This is a lifetime thing for her, there is no cure. Medication and therapy can only do so much.....she will always be this way. Being in a relationship is the worst thing for her because she is using you as an escape from her issues. There is better out there.

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    21
    Buddy, you're showing the patience of a saint with her; however, you need to realize it sounds like she has serious problems with a mental health condition as well as a plethora of issues around commitment.

    She's hot and cold and honestly, it sounds like she's changing her story on you on things far too much when it comes to what is actually going on.

    I'd say it's time to honestly reflect on if this person is who you want in your life given how complicated her own is...

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    12,046
    A question for you...do you find the ups and downs exciting? Do you find interacting with her gives you a kind of rush?

    Some people are really into that. A solid, secure and reliable partner is boring to them. They'd rather live life on the edge. Nothing wrong with that if it's what you're into.

    If you're not turned on by uncertainty and supreme highs interspersed with extreme lows, this is not the relationship for you.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Thank you for your replies.

    I'm definitely not looking for an erratic relationship, so it might just be time for me to move on and focus on myself.


Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •