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Thread: Is different culture/religion an issue?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Clio
    He is not man enough to stand up to his parents and he didn't even have the courage to tell you what was really going on until you confronted him. Relocating for such a spineless "man" could land you in major major trouble. Women in these societies do not enjoy the same rights as men. It would be risky to relocate, let alone for a man who is ready to leave you at the first sign of trouble. This man is not right for you. Let go.
    I agree.

    Thatís not to say that men and women have not successfully converted, it should come from the heart, not a need to keep the relationship.

    Heís already proving to you he will not put you first and this will be you giving more than him

    I think itís probably best to avoid the heartache, feelings of inferiority and turbulent times he will no doubt bring.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    LDR (long distance relationships) are doomed for failure for obvious reasons; too expensive, too far, too much travel, too inconvenient, not enough time together and it's unrealistic to expect a normal relationship.

    Blood is thicker than water. His family comes first.

    Get the message and take the hint. He's fading out of your life. Don't pathetically wish for what wasn't meant to be. Move on with your life. In the future, have a relationship with a local man because it is enduring.

  3. #13
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    Sorry OP.

    As somebody who has lived in and between two different cultures all my life... Cross-cultural relationships only work if both sides (including families if the families are close-knit) are open minded and lean towards the liberal end of the spectrum. Sometimes I have seen an open minded partner make huge sacrifices to try to fit into a disapproving and conservative family, but in the end those relationships cause massive drama and the person making the sacrifices ends up resentful and bitter, and their partner gets caught between trying to keep their partner happy and their family happy, which is literally impossible.

    And in the cases I know, religion was not even an issue. Faith is an extremely sensitive issue, especially in the Islamic world, so I would steer well clear.

    Finally, the key point in your case is that the guy already gave up on you. How do you know he is even a decent man? How do you know he is not just ticking off his bucket list of "sex with exotic white girl"? (Sorry to be blunt/rude but that is a thing in Asia)

    There are very few cases where I would say "screw the culture and religion, if you love each other, be with each other!". This is definitely not such a case.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by MirrorKnight
    Sorry OP.

    As somebody who has lived in and between two different cultures all my life... Cross-cultural relationships only work if both sides (including families if the families are close-knit) are open minded and lean towards the liberal end of the spectrum. Sometimes I have seen an open minded partner make huge sacrifices to try to fit into a disapproving and conservative family, but in the end those relationships cause massive drama and the person making the sacrifices ends up resentful and bitter, and their partner gets caught between trying to keep their partner happy and their family happy, which is literally impossible.

    And in the cases I know, religion was not even an issue. Faith is an extremely sensitive issue, especially in the Islamic world, so I would steer well clear.

    Finally, the key point in your case is that the guy already gave up on you. How do you know he is even a decent man? How do you know he is not just ticking off his bucket list of "sex with exotic white girl"? (Sorry to be blunt/rude but that is a thing in Asia)

    There are very few cases where I would say "screw the culture and religion, if you love each other, be with each other!". This is definitely not such a case.

    Okay -- its not about a "liberal/conservative" family. It is absolutely proven that couples who are from a similar background have more lasting marriages - to have something in common. People who grew up in other countries can have all that strongly in common - --- but you can't ave 5 of the major things not in common. georgraphy (physical location(, life goals (kids/no kids, wants to be in the peace corps, doesn't like to leave home) religion, general cultural mores, ethnicity, spoken language, education level/intelligence (not everyone can get or feel a high level of education is important, but a compatible intelligence level, etc) - you can't have all those things completely opposite and expect your parents to be for it.

    I have met couples that were different races and they were two peas in a pod. But they had the other stuff in common - general faith beliefs, similar family style, etc. The divide sometimes is too great.

    No parent is "liberal" enough to tell their kid 'chase someone totally different than you where at the end of the day, you have nothing in common " That's just foolhardy

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